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Ready to Move Forward?
We are approaching the end of the year! Yes, we made it through another year! Love it! And love that we’re covering so much content in these newsletters together.
So, if you don’t already know how I feel about resolutions (ya know the things where you say you’re going to do all these new things in your life and then maybe you will do them or maybe you won’t) instead, I like to reflect back on what has worked this past year and how I can improve on it for next year.
Resolve to not have Resolutions
Work
Makes sense that I put this first right? Would you put this first? Seems to me that work is the easiest place in our lives to notice how well we are doing. Did you get that promotion or that bonus you were looking for? Are you where you want to be in your career? Think about all that you have done with work this year and let’s remember how great we are!
Relationship
I have to admit that I was going to put family next, but I changed my mind. I talk about relationships a lot and it’s pretty much where I focus most of my energy since it’s my work as well.
How’s your relationship going? Are you fighting less or more? Dating or ignoring each other? Take a minute and realize that if you look at it over the whole year, it might look different than just day to day!
Family
I think we can lump kids, parents, pets, etc into this category because they all take up equal amounts of my time. This past year, my parents and pets took up more time than my children so I’m looking forward to making them more of a priority next year. Who did you focus on this year? Was it worth it to you? Do you feel as if you have an energy left for yourself? Remember, 50% of your energy goes to you, 50% goes to everyone else. Raise your hand if you spend more than 50% on everyone else? Yes, let’s work to change that number up even if it’s just 1%.
Me time
Lastly and most importantly, is the me category. I put this last because for the most part that’s where we put ourselves and we need to have enough energy to be kind to ourselves. Let’s try to move this category up a few notches next year. We are working on ourselves now and for the future. What do you want to change? I want to learn how to self reflect and understand how I”m feeling when someone gets me upset. I’m going to start to work on it today!
Yes, the moral is that we don’t need lists, goals or resolutions to help us move forward with our lives. We need ourselves mostly and to stay connected to the ones around us.
I’m going to work on myself and find the areas that need to be changed, stay the same or let go.
I’m excited to hear what you are working on. Please reach out jennifer@facetofacetherapy.com and let me know how you are doing.
I”m going to reflect and think about what I want to bring to you for the new year. If you have any topics that you are interested in, please let me know!!
Cheers for now and let’s move forward!
On your mark, get set… GO!
On your mark, get set and go! Where are you going? Yes, it’s the race that we all do or don’t partake in to the end of the year. For me, my end begins at Halloween. November and December just seem to fly by very quickly. What are you going to do to stay sane until the end of the year!?
A few ideas to keep you sane
- Get Organized – Okay, right now you have plenty of time to figure out what you want to wear to the holiday party, who you want to buy gifts for and who you don’t (it’s okay to take some people off your list). Start getting organized so you can calmly make it through the holidays!
- Stay Healthy – As your stress level goes up, your immune system goes down. How do you avoid getting sick around the holidays? Stay calm, find ways to reduce your stress and remember you’re just one person.
- Just Say No – This is always an important one for me and I’m getting better and better at it. Find out what you enjoy, what you want to do and the rest of it, say no thank you. No, you don’t have to go to all the holiday parties. No, you don’t have to volunteer at your child’s school. If you have the time, go for it, if you don’t, ditch the guilt and just say no
- It’s Budgeting Time – Really, you’re just one person and you can only do some much. You need to have a conversation with yourself and/or your partner if you have one and come up with a budget for the holidays and stick to it. Seriously, people go into major debt because of the holidays and that’s not going to be you. So many cute, inexpensive ideas. Talk to the family about a secret gift exchange, come up with creative ways to reduce your budget so you’re staying stress free about money.
- Delegate, Delegate and Delegate – Um yeah, I know you have heard this before, but you’re not the most important person in the universe. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Find your tribe, split up the tasks and hand off as much as you can. The world will not end if you don’t do it all yourself. Learn to share and hand things off!
- Take Time For Yourself – Well, if you laughed at this, then maybe you need to re-read some of the other ones! Yes, if you’re feeling the stress, it’s time to take a breather and work on decompressing. Trust me, you’ll be better for it in the end.
- Who’s Up For Eating – Did you enjoy thanksgiving? I’m not one of those that counts calories on holidays but in general, I’m a healthy eater. One day is fine, stress eating is not (because if you are stressed, then you’re not reading what I am writing). If you find yourself stress eating, then take a step backwards and follow the other steps.
I’m going to stop there for now because that’s enough for this post. I really want you to try to enjoy yourself this holiday season. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, you have my permission to pamper yourself, delegate your tasks and enjoy your time!
If you’re feeling stressed out, reach out to me and I can help for sure!
Five Things I Use In My Own Relationship to Stay Happy
Your Relationship in 2018
I hope everyone is off to a good start of 2018. I’m so happy to be doing what I love and taking care of myself. I tell all my clients that there is nothing that I tell them that I don’t do in my own relationship so I thought I’d share my top 5 ideas on how to keep your relationship going strong in the new year.
Top 5 Idea to Keep Your Relationship Strong
- Hello and Goodbye Rituals – I know it seems as if this is no biggie, but in reality, it really is! To greet your partner and for them to greet you back when you come home or leave the house is the first step to staying connected. I tell people that no matter what’s going on, you have 3 seconds to kiss, hug, high five or whatever your ritual becomes. Acknowledgement goes a long way when you want to stay connected.
- Stress Reducing Conversation – This one is also very important because if you do even have time to say hello/goodbye, then you have stress in your life. If you do, you need to talk about it. If you have no idea what I am talking about, then all you need to do is sit with your partner without any distractions and talk about a stress in your life. Your partner needs to listen and give empathetic support. Don’t give advice or take the other’s person side. Then switch listener/speaker roles. Trust me, it will help reduce the stress and you’ll feel closer too!
- Dates – Maybe this one should be a given but often, when I meet people, they tell me that dates are the last thing they think of. Really? How do you plan on connecting? Okay, maybe hiring a babysitter is not in the cards for you. You can take turns watching kids with another couple or even have dates at home. The point is to have them and keep having them. Ask each other out and make it special!
- 10 Minute Talks – There are a ton of conversational starters out there to help you have conversations if you are stuck on talking about your job, kids, house, etc. Find a relationship conversation starter and start taking at least 10 minutes a day.
- Give Appreciation – Talk nice to each other and compliment each other on what’s working. Give each other a reason to keep on doing what you want them to do. When you ask nicely, it helps and when you give appreciation, it helps make you feel loved and cherished.
So, those are to me the top 5 that I use to help my relationship. I do not pretend to be perfect at everything. But I also know that you cannot have a good relationship if you don’t put the effort in.
How About Those 2018 Relationship Goals?
You can add some of these to your relationship and see how it goes. Let me know!
Staying connected and sane during the holidays
What do you say about the holidays?
“Wahoo, they’re here” or “oh no, they’re here already?” Either way they are busy times for families whether you are traveling, hosting family or even gathering with friends. How will you stay connected and sane?
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How to stay thankful!
I love thanksgiving! Every year we talk about cutting corners, even the possibility of going out to eat, but when it comes down to it, this is the holiday that means family around a table in the house eating everything they can find! We always go around and say what we are thankful for and I am always so thankful for my family, friends and even my wonderful career path, but this year I think I will add a different spin on things and try to figure out how to remain thankful all year-long.
This concept reminds me of hurricane season, especially the part where you lose electricity and you turn to your neighbors to help or just to bond. Whenever the electricity is out, I have noticed that families come out of their houses, interact with others and lend a helping hand if needed. When the electricity goes back on, you remark how great it was to be part of the community, even if it was just in your own house and remind yourself that you need to keep it up. Honestly, who really keeps it up? The same goes with being thankful, how do we remain thankful for all of our blessings all year-long?
1. Always volunteer and remind yourself of all that you have.
2. Donate items to those in need all year-long.
3. Teach others how to be thankful of what they have.
4. Implement a plan to slow down and remind yourself of all that you have.
5. Look around and see your life through someone else’s eyes.
I am one of the lucky ones that I can remind myself of all that I am thankful for and one way that I can do this for sure is when I am driving in traffic and come upon an accident. I do not get upset for the extra time that I had to wait for the accident because I am safe in my car while somebody else is hurting or even worse. To remember the acts of kindness that we do to others and others to do us is the best way to stay thankful.
Let me know your thoughts on how to say thankful all year round and let’s hold each other to this promise of staying thankful!
Traditions
I spent the day today with my family at Lion Country Safari and I can still remember going their myself as a child. I am happy to say that today was still a great memory as my previous ones as a child! As I was forming new memories with my children it got me thinking about traditions and how they are important to us. I can remember having my grandparents over for Friday night dinners as a child and when I got older, I would go out to breakfast with them every Saturday. Of course, I did not always enjoy getting up for breakfast or missing things on a Friday night but I do believe that the foundation that these traditions established for me as helped me as an adult.
My children are still young, so we do not have that many traditions as a family yet but after today, I would like that to change. We do eat breakfast together every morning and meal time is always a time for us to connect. We cannot always eat together of course but when we do, it is family time. I think we need to put down our phones, ipads, televisions, etc and work on connecting as a family more. I know that I benefited from it as a child and I can only hope that I can pass down those same values to my children.
Traditions can be anything that you do as a family. It does not have to be something that you did as a child but just something to connect as a family. I would love to hear about your traditions and how they have helped you connect with your family.