Tag Archives: Sleeping
Your bed or mine?
August 28, 2023
As school starts again and summer winds down I am thinking to myself how to answer the question if sleeping in the same bedroom or apart is better for a relationship. Sometimes it can be beneficial to both partners to sleep in separate bedrooms then again learning how to compromise on differences and come together to share a bed is what a marriage is based on right? Seems as if both sides of the conversation have merit so let’s break it down.
Pros to sleeping in the same bed
Till death do us part. That is what they say in the marriage vows. The good and the bad are in there as well isn’t it? If so, then shouldn’t sleeping in the same bedroom just make sense? Some of the reasons that I see as it can benefit a relationship are.
- You can learn to compromise- So much of marriage is compromise and sharing a bed is at the top of the list. You need to be okay with snoring, rolling around, making noises and so much more.
- It can help you stay connected- Yup you’re busy and don’t have a lot of time to spend together so you take advantage of pillow talk/sharing at night, maybe even some sex because you’re attracted to your partner. Being in the same bed helps you physically connect with your partner.
- Saves space- Well this one is easy because if you don’t have the space to sleep in separate bedrooms then you have to learn to share so share you do!
Pros to sleeping in separate beds
- Getting a good night’s sleep- Yup so important. You can find other ways to connect if you’re not sleeping in the same bed, especially if you are well-rested.
- Less to fight about- Ah who needs to fight when they are well rested? If your partner is loud, snores or has different sleep patterns than you, then you don’t have to worry about them. Just say goodnight and I love you and get your zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
- Just need a break- If you need a break from your partner and saying it is so much better than not. Be honest, say how you feel, and say what you need. Both of you will sleep better knowing your communication is clear!
Which one is better?
If you have been reading up to this point then I’m going to let you decide. It is such a personal choice and one that is couple-specific. I do ask that you talk to your partner and decide together and do what works best for your unique situation.
Let me know what you think about this!
The nitty gritty of sleep time for children
July 20, 2014
So ever since my 4 year old came into my life, my goal was to introduce her to sleeping through the night. The biggest reason being I enjoy my sleep. I cannot tell you how many times people are down right amazed that both my girls are asleep by 7pm. Well, the older one for sure by 7:30. So, who wants to know how this is done!
The first thing I want you to realize is that if getting your children to bed early is a goal for you then you might have to sacrifice other areas in your life. I cannot even begin to tell you how many things we say no to because it interferes with bedtime. We don’t do evening activities or go out with our kids late. If I take them out to eat, it is early.
In our house, we eat dinner at 5:00 pm, bath time at 6pm, put the youngest in by 6:30 and older one by 7pm. That means everyday, weekends, vacations and even summer. Yes, I have made the mistake of letting them stay up late and it always reminds me the next day how my girls need their sleep.
I know that when I leave their rooms and say, “I love you and see you in the morning,” that I mean it and so do they.
Here are some guidelines:
- Have a routine is a must such as bath, book, bottle or breast milk, then bed. This has been the routine since day one.
- We always go into their rooms if there is a problem during the night.
- Since birth, our girls have slept in their own rooms, it works for us and for them.
- Wait about 30 minutes to get them in the morning. Get them used to staying in their rooms from a young age.
- If you are breast feeding, cluster feed and slow down your feedings at night. Yes, I nursed both girls and it can be done.
- Include bargaining and avoidance into your routine. Pick how much you want to give them and let them learn how to push and you push back.
- Be consistent with all care givers, and yes that even includes grandparents.
- No guilt. You are a great parent for reading this and wanting to try something new.
All parenting is trial and error and if one thing does not work then try something else. As parents we need to lean on each other and work together to raise healthy, happy children.
Let me know if you have a method that works or does not work and as always ask questions! Happy parenting!