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Tag Archives: parenting
What Is Collaborative Divorce—and How Can Couples Counseling Help?
Divorce doesn’t have to mean chaos in the courtroom or years of resentment. For couples who want to separate with mutual respect and minimal damage—especially when children are involved—collaborative divorce offers a healthier, more human-centered path.
But what many couples don’t realize is this: counseling can play a powerful role in making the collaborative process smoother, more respectful, and even healing.
Let’s break it down.
🧾 What Is Collaborative Divorce?
Collaborative divorce is a legal process where both spouses commit to resolving their separation without going to court. Instead of “fighting it out” in front of a judge, you work with a team of professionals—lawyers, financial advisors, and sometimes therapists—to reach agreements on:
- Finances
- Child custody
- Parenting time
- Property division
- Communication boundaries
The goal? An outcome that works for both of you—and supports your long-term well-being.
It’s less adversarial than traditional divorce litigation, and it prioritizes transparency, cooperation, and respect.
🧠 Where Does Counseling Fit In?
You might be thinking: “If we’re divorcing, why would we do counseling?”
Great question. Collaborative divorce isn’t just about legal paperwork—it’s also about navigating the emotional minefield of ending a relationship. That’s where couples counseling can help, even when you’re not trying to “fix” the relationship.
Here’s how:
💬 1. Counseling Supports Better Communication
Even in the most amicable divorces, emotions run high. Counseling helps you:
- Express what you need without blame
- Stay calm during hard conversations
- Understand each other’s triggers
- Practice active listening
Less tension now = fewer conflicts later (especially when co-parenting).
🧒 2. Counseling Keeps It Child-Centered
If you have kids, they’re the ones who’ll feel the ripple effects of your divorce for years to come. A therapist can help you:
- Make child-focused decisions
- Create a parenting plan rooted in consistency and care
- Have difficult conversations with your kids in an age-appropriate way
Kids don’t need perfect parents—but they do need parents who can work together.
🔄 3. It Helps You Separate Emotionally, Not Just Legally
Divorce ends the legal bond, but emotional detachment is its own process. Couples counseling helps you:
- Work through grief, resentment, and guilt
- Avoid “unfinished business” that spills into co-parenting
- Build emotional boundaries that support healing
Therapy gives both of you space to leave the relationship with clarity and integrity.
🤝 4. It Models a Cooperative Spirit
Collaborative divorce only works if both parties are willing to compromise. Therapy reinforces the mindset of:
- Mutual respect
- Shared problem-solving
- Openness to hearing each other out
This emotional skillset can mean the difference between a peaceful divorce and one filled with costly delays and ongoing battles.
🙋♀️ But What If One of Us Doesn’t Want Therapy?
That’s okay. Individual therapy can still be extremely helpful during a collaborative divorce. Even if only one person is doing the emotional work, it:
- Reduces the chance of escalation
- Supports healthier boundary-setting
- Helps you stay calm and focused when the process gets challenging
💡 Collaborative Divorce Is About Ending Well
Not every relationship lasts forever—but that doesn’t mean it has to end in destruction. Collaborative divorce—and counseling that supports it—offers a way to part with dignity, clarity, and respect.
You’re not just closing a chapter. You’re laying the foundation for what comes next: co-parenting, healing, and the chance to rebuild your life on your own terms.
📅 Want Support Through a Collaborative Divorce?
I work with individuals and couples navigating divorce who want to:
- Reduce emotional conflict
- Co-parent respectfully
- Communicate clearly
- Separate with intention and care
👉 Click here to schedule a consultation and learn how therapy can support your collaborative divorce journey.
Co-Parenting After a Divorce: How Therapy Can Guide You
Co-parenting after a divorce isn’t easy—but it doesn’t have to be a war zone. Learn how therapy can help you communicate better, reduce conflict, and prioritize your child’s emotional health.
Divorce is tough. Co-parenting afterward? Sometimes even tougher.
You’re trying to rebuild your life, manage your own emotions, and raise emotionally healthy kids—all while navigating a partnership that’s changed forever. If you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or unsure of what’s “right,” you’re far from alone.
But here’s the good news: you don’t have to figure it out alone. Therapy can help you co-parent with more peace, structure, and clarity—especially when it feels impossible.
💬 Why Co-Parenting Feels So Hard (Even If the Divorce Was “Amicable”)
Even the most well-intentioned co-parents hit roadblocks. Why?
- You have different parenting styles
- There’s unresolved resentment or guilt
- Communication feels loaded or hostile
- You’re adjusting to new routines and boundaries
- One (or both) of you are starting new relationships
And let’s not forget: kids are watching. Even if you keep the fights out of their earshot, they can feel the tension.
That’s where therapy comes in—not just to “talk it out,” but to build a new kind of partnership focused on your children’s well-being.
🧠 What Co-Parenting Therapy Actually Does
Think of co-parenting therapy as a blueprint for peaceful collaboration after the marriage ends. A therapist acts like a neutral third party—someone who helps you move from conflict to cooperation.
Here’s what you can expect:
✅ 1. Clearer Communication
You’ll learn how to express needs, frustrations, and expectations in ways that don’t trigger defensiveness or conflict.
“I need to talk about the school drop-off schedule” instead of “You never show up when you’re supposed to.”
✅ 2. Boundaries That Make Sense
Therapy helps define what’s okay—and not okay—in your new co-parenting relationship. That might mean:
- No late-night texts unless it’s urgent
- Consistent discipline across homes
- Respect for each other’s new relationships
✅ 3. A Child-First Focus
In sessions, you’ll shift the spotlight back to your child’s needs. That might mean agreeing on routines, supporting transitions between homes, or staying on the same page about school, health, and screen time.
Even if you disagree, therapy helps you build a united front—for your child’s security and trust.
❤️ Therapy Is Also for You
Co-parenting therapy isn’t just about logistics. It’s also a place to process:
- Your grief around the divorce
- Guilt or resentment about how things ended
- Worry about how your child is coping
The truth is, you can’t co-parent well if you’re emotionally exhausted. Therapy helps you refill your tank, stay grounded, and show up as the parent you want to be.
🙋♀️ What If Only One of Us Wants to Do Therapy?
Great question. While it’s ideal when both parents are involved, you can still make huge progress on your own.
Individual therapy can help you:
- Respond (not react) to your ex
- Set healthy boundaries
- Build emotional resilience
- Navigate tough conversations with clarity
You’d be surprised how much peace one parent can bring into the dynamic just by showing up differently.
🌱 It Doesn’t Have to Stay This Tense Forever
Right now, co-parenting might feel like a minefield. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
With the right tools—and support—you can move from survival mode to something healthier. Not just for your child, but for you, too.
🤝 Want Support with Co-Parenting?
I work with parents who want to:
- Reduce co-parenting conflict
- Learn effective communication skills
- Support their kids during the transition
- Set boundaries that work
Click here to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward a more peaceful co-parenting journey.
Parenting Without Losing Your Relationship: Real Talk from a Couples Counseling Perspective
Parenting is no joke. Between sleepless nights, endless messes, and constantly being “on,” it’s easy for your relationship to take a backseat. And if you’re starting to feel more like roommates than romantic partners? You’re not alone.
As couples counselors, we hear it all the time: “We never have time for each other anymore.” Or “We keep arguing about how to handle the kids.” The truth is, parenting adds stress—but it can also strengthen your bond if you know how to navigate it together.
So if you’re looking for real-life parenting advice with a side of relationship support, you’re in the right place. Here’s how to stay connected and handle parenting like a team.
1. Communicate Like Teammates, Not Opponents
One of the most common issues we see in couples therapy is communication breakdown—especially around parenting. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do need to talk about it without turning it into a battle.
Relationship tip: Set aside time each week to check in—no kids, no distractions. Talk about what’s working and what’s not. This kind of regular, low-stress communication can prevent bigger blowups later.
Keyword insight: Strong communication in relationships helps prevent parenting conflicts.
2. Respect Each Other’s Parenting Style
You’re two different people. It’s normal to have different approaches—whether that’s about discipline, screen time, or whether ketchup belongs on mac and cheese. The key is not letting those differences drive a wedge between you.
Pro tip from couples counseling: Try to understand where your partner is coming from. Maybe their parenting style comes from how they were raised—or what they wish had been different. The more empathy, the better.
Keyword insight: Co-parenting advice starts with mutual respect and understanding.
3. Share the Mental and Physical Load
Parenting isn’t just about doing the dishes or driving to soccer—it’s also about remembering school events, managing doctor appointments, and making sure the right size shoes are in the closet. That mental load is real—and unevenly shared in many relationships.
What works: Make the invisible visible. Use shared calendars, apps, or even just a whiteboard on the fridge. Divide tasks based on strengths, not assumptions.
Keyword insight: Equally sharing the mental load is key to reducing resentment in relationships.
4. Keep the Relationship a Priority
It’s easy to fall into survival mode and put your relationship last. But connection matters. When you prioritize your bond, everything else gets easier—yes, even parenting.
Simple ways to reconnect: A quick walk together, a coffee date, or even a few minutes of talking without phones after the kids are asleep. Little things add up.
Keyword insight: Couples counseling encourages intentional connection to strengthen relationships during parenting.
5. Know When to Ask for Help
If you’re stuck in the same arguments or feeling distant, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Couples counseling offers tools to improve communication, handle stress, and rediscover what brought you together in the first place.
Remember: Seeking help isn’t a failure—it’s a sign you care.
Keyword insight: Parenting support through therapy helps couples grow stronger and more aligned.
Final Thoughts
You’re doing one of the toughest jobs there is—raising kids while trying to stay close as a couple. It’s messy, imperfect, and totally worth it. And with a little intention (and maybe a little counseling support), you can parent as a team and stay connected.
Need help finding your rhythm as parents and partners? We offer specialized couples counseling to help you thrive in both roles. Reach out today to schedule a session.
We can do this together!
| How are you doing today? We’re already in March, almost in April even, and the year is in full swing. How are you doing on those goals you set up for yourself? How is your partner doing on the same goals? Did you read that correctly? Yes, of course you made goals/resolutions together to accomplish this year, right? |
| Well, if you’re reading this and thinking, umm, nope, I didn’t think about this before… no worries, let’s start to think about it now and figure out what goals/resolutions you should do together. |
| Spending time together How are you doing with this one? Are you making time for each other? Are you putting your relationship somewhat on the top list of things to do? If not, that’s okay, let’s say at least an hour a day or one date night a week for now. Parenting Are you two aligned on parenting? This is always a struggle for sure but an important goal to have when you’re trying to stay sane! Work on what this means for you and how you will accomplish your goals with parenting. Nutrient Gosh, there are so many different eating plans out there now. Which one are you on? Are you both aligned how you’re eating? It helps out a lot to have a partner in crime if say you’re doing intermittent fasting and you’re trying to fast and still do everything else. Yes, you can reach out to others but that’s not the point of joining. Do it together and see how you can support each other. Exercise Was this on your goal list for the year? How are you doing with it? Are you both on the same page as far as exercise is going? At least are you in the same chapter? If not, let’s work on it. Support each other and try to boost each other up. Careers Whether you both work or if one of you works and other stays at home, there’s a balance that always needs to be in place. Are you supportive in your roles together? Are you feeling as your partner has your back? Talk about this and see where you are. I’m hoping the answer is YES. There isn’t much else in this world if your partner doesn’t have your back. |
Yep, you can do this together!!!
| Yep, you can do this together!!!Thinking about changing something up in your life? Are you worried that your partner is not by your side? I use that word partner a lot and it has so many important meanings for sure. I would love to know how you support each other and what you do together to have each other’s back. |
Wants and Needs
I’ve been asked (or maybe I’m just talking about it this week) on the difference between needs and wants.
When I was a new mom and I was wondering how the heck I would take care of 2 kids (a baby and a toddler) at the same time while I was breastfeeding one and the other has never left my side, arggghhh!! I was given the best advice:
Babies have needs, toddlers have wants, decide who needs you more!!
Wow, that was so powerful, quotable and helpful because when you’re sleep deprived and not knowing what you’re doing, how do you do it all? Um, you take turns, take a breathe and figure it out.
So, I was thinking about this again with my clients this week. I had some great conversations about it and how we can think about what we need in our relationships compared to what we want.
What I believe my needs are
Trust
So important to me to be able to trust my partner. This takes on a different meaning for me because I can trust him not to cheat on me, but I can’t always trust that he will do what he says. I need someone that will do what they say and say what they will do.
Emotions
I’m a therapist and anyone that’s with me needs to know that talking about emotions is important to me. I need to work through things, get rid of the upset feelings and get to the true emotions behind what we’re talking about. Guess I can call them triggers as well.
Co-Parenting
Yes, there can only be one parent that is working at a time, but there are two parents that need to be parenting all the time. Even though I work, and so does he, I need to feel as if our children are both of our responsibilities all the time. Work in progress here.
Talking
This is huge for me and I need this so much. I need to talk things out and work out what needs to be worked out. The silence is a killer for me. Huge need is to talk.
Let’s switch to some of my wants
Plans
I’m a planner and I like to have plans made. Something about having plans made is soothing to me and lets me get excited about things and helps me stay calm. My partner is a “spur of the moment” kinda guy so this is always a work in progress.
Vacations
I’m putting this in the wants section because it’s not a need. I do enjoy going away, seeing new things and of course planning it all!
Healthy Lifestyle
This is a need for me and I do this personally to stay sane, but it’s a want in my life because I can’t make anyone do anything solely for me. Maybe it’s a want/need!
In Summary
I’m going to stop there because I can add a lot more wants but in reality, I’m okay with getting my needs met. My needs are my core and when I get my needs met, I’m happy and content with my relationship.
How about you? Do you know your wants and needs? Do you need help distinguishing them Let’s hear from you and how you distinguish the two.
Ready to Move Forward?
We are approaching the end of the year! Yes, we made it through another year! Love it! And love that we’re covering so much content in these newsletters together.
So, if you don’t already know how I feel about resolutions (ya know the things where you say you’re going to do all these new things in your life and then maybe you will do them or maybe you won’t) instead, I like to reflect back on what has worked this past year and how I can improve on it for next year.
Resolve to not have Resolutions
Work
Makes sense that I put this first right? Would you put this first? Seems to me that work is the easiest place in our lives to notice how well we are doing. Did you get that promotion or that bonus you were looking for? Are you where you want to be in your career? Think about all that you have done with work this year and let’s remember how great we are!
Relationship
I have to admit that I was going to put family next, but I changed my mind. I talk about relationships a lot and it’s pretty much where I focus most of my energy since it’s my work as well.
How’s your relationship going? Are you fighting less or more? Dating or ignoring each other? Take a minute and realize that if you look at it over the whole year, it might look different than just day to day!
Family
I think we can lump kids, parents, pets, etc into this category because they all take up equal amounts of my time. This past year, my parents and pets took up more time than my children so I’m looking forward to making them more of a priority next year. Who did you focus on this year? Was it worth it to you? Do you feel as if you have an energy left for yourself? Remember, 50% of your energy goes to you, 50% goes to everyone else. Raise your hand if you spend more than 50% on everyone else? Yes, let’s work to change that number up even if it’s just 1%.
Me time
Lastly and most importantly, is the me category. I put this last because for the most part that’s where we put ourselves and we need to have enough energy to be kind to ourselves. Let’s try to move this category up a few notches next year. We are working on ourselves now and for the future. What do you want to change? I want to learn how to self reflect and understand how I”m feeling when someone gets me upset. I’m going to start to work on it today!
Yes, the moral is that we don’t need lists, goals or resolutions to help us move forward with our lives. We need ourselves mostly and to stay connected to the ones around us.
I’m going to work on myself and find the areas that need to be changed, stay the same or let go.
I’m excited to hear what you are working on. Please reach out jennifer@facetofacetherapy.com and let me know how you are doing.
I”m going to reflect and think about what I want to bring to you for the new year. If you have any topics that you are interested in, please let me know!!
Cheers for now and let’s move forward!
Staying in the Moment
First day of school thoughts, and there are a lot of them. This is something I’ve been working on for a while now and I wanted to take the time to write about it and share with you how I’m doing with it.
Too many times in my life, I have these great things happen and I don’t stay in the moment to appreciate them as much as I should. Well, to say it truthfully, I don’t spend any time on them at all. Why? I earn these moments and when I have them, I shy away from patting myself on the back. The best way to describe it is when the event happens, I’m already expecting it to be over and when it is over I’m looking forward to the next event.
So how do you stay in the moment?
Be Present
As a mom, wife, daughter, sister, mother and business owner, being present in all of these roles is a challenge. Learn to treat them separately so you can stay present in the moment. If I get an awe moment in my career, I need to stay in that moment for 120 seconds at least (that’s 2 whole minutes) before I switch roles or move on to another moment. Yes, let’s shoot for 2 minutes, but really, aim for 5 minutes.
What should I be doing in the moment?
Yes, this is truth. I’ve always wondered about the moment and especially meditation. I really respect the people that can meditate. Meditation is the act of being mindful and living in the moment. You should be actively thinking about yourself, how proud you are of yourself and how much you have accomplished.
What’s next?
After the moment passes and you were able to acknowledge yourself, now what? Are you on to the next moment? How about we hit the pause button for a bit and just live in this moment for as long as we can. There will be plenty of time for the next moment, rest assured.
My Moment
So today, I’m living in the moment. I have a 3rd and 1st grader and I love both of their teachers. I could say more but I’m practicing what I preach and staying in my small moment for now
Please let me know how you were able to capture your moment.
Are You Organized?
Hoorary! Back to school today for us!
Do I really mean hoorary?
I think so. We got our girls off to school this morning. It was enjoyable and fun this morning. We left early and had lots of time to get them settled in their classrooms.
How is this possible? Let’s talk about organization to help us with the morning and nighttime routines.
Nighttime
Yes, the organization should start the night before. Everything that can be done the night before should be done. Pick out clothes, get snacks ready, fill up water bottles and anything else you can think of. The most important thing the night before is getting enough sleep. Put these lovies to bed early and let them sleep for as long as they can.
Morning
Good morning to you! Right, are you a morning person? If not, or even if you are, the job still has to get done. So I’m going to say that either you, your partner and/or your children are not morning people. Some of you are, but some aren’t. Let’s start by placing an alarm clock into your children’s room. Yes, this has been a game changer for me. When they wake up by themselves, they awake so much easier.
Morning Routine
I’m going to separate this one because waking up is hard enough and then doing what you need to do in the morning is even harder. Oh my! First, give yourself enough time to wake up before the craziness. If you need to get out of the house at the same time as the kiddos, take a shower before the craziness starts. If not, get up and enjoy your quiet time. Once the kids are up and dressed, it’s making and eating breakfast, brushing teeth, brushing hair and getting out the door. You need to leave some lead time into your schedule for the occasional clothes change or hair crisis. Congrats, now you’re out the door!
Afternoon
This is different for everyone depending on your schedule. If your children come home from school, first thing is taking a look at the backpack. Yes, I highly recommend looking in the backpack the minute they arrive. Are there forms you need to sign? Are there snacks that have spilled? Of course, then there’s the homework. If your kids stay at aftercare, same routine, just later. Checking that backpack is the key to success. If your children are older, hopefully you have this down pat by now and they’re bringing things to you!
Partner, Divide and Conquer!
This one is so up to you! You both know what you strive for and what you need to do. Figure out which task is your thing and own it. If you feel you’re doing too much, it’s time to talk and figure out how to reorganize and share the load.
Hope these tips helped you. If I have left any out that you think would help others, please reach out to let me know.
Choices, choices and more choices
Life is Full of Choices
Ok, life is full of choices and it’s very confusing what choices you should make on a day to day basis. What if I told you that you make so many choices a day and that the ones you are making are the right ones! Hooray right? Well, they might not always seem as if they’re the right ones but at the time you’re making them they are.
This blog courtesy of…
This blog is courtesy of my loving, 8 year old daughter. I’m a moderately strict parent, meaning, I discipline when I have to, make tough choices when I have to and hold up to the wrath that only a child can bring. Why, you ask? Because I’m a parent and that’s what parents do. Every time we say no, we are teaching a lesson, everytime we set a limit it’s for their good and that’s called parenting.
Make a Choice
I tell my daughters that when they make a choice they can make one that will lead to a reward or a consequence. They have to choose which one they’ll make. I believe that I give them guidance along the way to at least tell them that they’re making a decision that will lead to a consequence and it is up to them to decide how to proceed. Sometimes, they proceed, other times they stop and change the course of action. Once again, I’m not telling them what to do, I’m guiding them to make choices that are good for them… and for me of course!
The Outcome
Well, my 8 year old daughter got upset with me last week because she didn’t get her way. I asked her to do something 3 times and that’s my limit. She did it and then asked for dessert afterwards. Haha, that was a nice try; “no dessert because it’s past the time for dessert,” I told her. She made the choice to not listen and spend her time the way she wanted which caused her to miss out on something she wanted.
As 8 year olds go, she got an attitude with me and that’s not something I tolerate. Luckily, we have a great relationship so it doesn’t come out all the time. When her attitude does come out, watch out world, there’s a force to be reckoned with.
So, once she calmed down, she apologized to me. I have to say, her apologies are very sincere. I explained this concept about choices to her and she chose to play around and not do what she needed to do and so she didn’t get what she wanted.
Hence, choices are so complicated and for a young mind. It’s even more so because she doesn’t think past her current choice, just the one that she’s making. She says, “Mommy, life is so confusing to me.” Yes, I 100% agreed with her! I said, “it is, and the choices we make lead us down a certain path.” Good for her (and me) that we’re in this together 100% and I’ll back her up and help her make choices that will get her what she wants.
Did she learn a lesson?
Maybe she did or maybe she didn’t. I sure learned a lesson that life is complicated and the choices that you make are the ones that put you on your path. You’re making so many and I’d hope that the choices you make are getting you what you want.
Share Your Stories
I loved this story and wanted to share it with you. If you have a similar story, let’s hear it and we can learn from your story as well. Looking forward to hearing your stories!
How do you check in with your partner?
Hi, it’s Spring Break over here and I’m writing for the first time in a long time. As most of you know, our town of Parkland has had an enormous tragedy and we all all trying to do the best we can with finding our way through this and everything else. So I mentioned it’s Spring Break and yes, I have the time to blog.
How, you ask?
Where are my children and husband you ask? Well, today they are at the Palm Beach Zoo and yesterday then went to Shark Valley. Yes, without me and all my organizing and planning. Yes, my husband is with our children and they are all having a great time!
How is this possible?
Well, it really wasn’t that hard. I used my words and said, “Honey, you are going to spend the first 2 days of spring break with the girls.” He of course said that will be great and they are having fun. So, back to the question of this blog, how do you check in with your partner? Let’s look at some creative ways to do so.
- Have a nightly meeting- This does not have to be long but has to happen. Talk about your needs, what you wish for and how to listen to your partner.
- Do not hold back- If you wish for something, such as a break from parenting or making dinner, let your partner know by verbally saying so, you will be surprised how easy it is.
- Have those intimate talks- The best way to stay connected is to stay connected, seriously talk the intimate talk, use your books, games, etc to stay connected.
- Make sure both of your needs are met- This is a 2 way street meaning you go both ways. Make sure both of your needs are getting met.
- Take a time out if you need it- There is no glory in finishing first. If you need time to yourself, please take it.
- Dates, dates, dates- If you have read anything that I have written so far, you know how important this one is, do it and keep doing it. Ask your partner out, hint hint, it feels nice to be asked out!
Life is always complicated
It’s true. And it’s busy, stressful and more and there are so many excuses not to check in with your partner. Life can get to you if you let it. So don’t let it! Work on staying connected by checking in all the time, asking for hugs, kisses and dates.
Please share how you stay connected with your partner, would love to hear about it!