Tag Archives: love languages
Workin’ for a livin’
May 7, 2019
Hope you’re well. We’re quickly approaching summer! Not sure about you, but it’s been super busy around here and I’m looking forward to the slower pace over the summer. We’ve had a lot of travel for work lately. My husband has had 3 business trips in the last 2 months and yes, I went to a Gottman Level 3 refresher course to get even more knowledge to help all of my couples!
That’s a lot of long distance time. I’ve been in a long distance relationship in the past and they are a struggle.
How do you manage when one or both of you is traveling for work?
Do you do the same rituals of connection that you do when you’re both home? It is easier or harder for you to stay connected?
For us, it’s much easier to stay connected when we’re both in the same house and staying connected has been a work in progress, but I can say that we have nailed it! I wanted to share some tidbits on what I believe works.
What’s Working
- Rituals of connections: Yes, it’s even more important to discuss about your day and work on those rituals while you’re away. Now is a good time to create new rituals to help you throughout the day to stay connected.
- Talk/FaceTime everyday: In the past it seemed more important for my husband to FaceTime with our children than with me. We lumped our talks together. Recently, we realized that talking to the kids was one thing, us chatting was another. Take some time and chat everyday. Even it is for a few minutes. But try to separate kid time and couples time if you can.
- Nighttime: Say goodnight to each other even if it’s through text or email. End the day and start the day with something to connect you. I know these are rituals but they’re the ones that I think are the most important.
- Expectations: Before the trip, talk about your and your partner’s expectations about what the distance means to both of you. Understand that your needs are coming from a place of love, not so much of the place of nagging. If knowing your partner is safe when they land, let them know. If knowing if your partner is back in their hotel room, let them know.
- Talk it out: If something is bothering you, figure out a good way to express it and talk it out. Waiting for your partner to return will only lead to the build up and who wants that!
- Love languages: Do you know what your love languages are? If you do, let’s make sure both of them are being honored while you’re apart from each other.
I thought I’ do the good and the bad
Yea, but I changed my mind. Let’s just focus on what you can do to stay connected if one of you are away. Remember how you stay connected when you’re at home and find something similar or create something completely new when you’re apart. Don’t wait until your partner gets home to unload on them. Stay connected and remember that your mental loads are both high. If you’re home, you’re taking care of everything here, if you’re away, you’re missing home and trying your best to do the best job you can do while you’re away.
And then come back together
Make sure you reconnect instead of just going about your business as usual. Enjoy this time apart and who knows, you can use it to flirt, connect and just have fun together!!
Happy traveling!!
Ps. If you have something else that works while your traveling, please share it with us so we can all learn from you!
Until next time!
PPS. if you don’t know your love languages and you want to take a quiz https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
Do you know your love language?
February 12, 2019
I’ve been noticing a trend of mine. I ask, “What’s your love language?” I often get blank stares on this one so I explain and discuss the five love languages.
I’m a huge fan of knowing your love language. You take the quiz, find out the results, but then what should you do with them?
Let’s recap the 5 love languages for just a minute.
Physical Touch
This is the hand holding, hugging, kissing and need to be touched.
Verbal/Words of Affirmation
This is saying how you feel such as, “I love you.”
Gifts
This is when you receive something and it makes you feel special.
Quality time
Spending time together makes you happy.
Acts of service
Chores, cleaning, doing, anything that involves doing something around the house or in your life.
Okay, who thinks that two people in a relationship will have the same love language? Well, if you are attracted to someone that’s different than you and sees different things than you, of course they will be different. If you’re all about the sameness, they are likely be the same.
We need to break it down on how this works and what you need to do, right? It’s not enough just knowing your love language because you probably already know that. The more important piece to this puzzle is, do you know your partner’s love language?
I’m going to bold this and make it a big deal because it is.
YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER USING THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE
Well, are you saying that you will if they know and ackowedgle yours? Nope, that’s not how this works. If you wait to receive without giving, then you will not get what you want. If you want to receive, you need to give.
Let’s say for example that partner A has a love language of Acts of Service and partner B has the love language Physical Touch. Oh boy! Those 2 love languages are so different. That means if partner A wants physical touch, partner A needs to do acts of service. Do you know what their acts of service are? I’m guessing you don’t so you’re going to need to ask. Is it making dinner or going food shopping? Figure out what they are and do them. In return, you will need to ask for your love language which is a hug or a kiss and Bam, you are flying high!!
What happens when life gets busy and you’re both stressed out and just want to receive without giving? Well, you’re not going to receive or give and then the fights happen. To avoid all of that, give and receive to get what you want, which is a mutually agreeable relationship!!
PS. Here is my video series on love languages if you want a more in-depth look on love languages. I also have a Free Report on Love Languages.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you after you take your love language quiz and find out what language you have.