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Five Things I Use In My Own Relationship to Stay Happy
Your Relationship in 2018
I hope everyone is off to a good start of 2018. I’m so happy to be doing what I love and taking care of myself. I tell all my clients that there is nothing that I tell them that I don’t do in my own relationship so I thought I’d share my top 5 ideas on how to keep your relationship going strong in the new year.
Top 5 Idea to Keep Your Relationship Strong
- Hello and Goodbye Rituals – I know it seems as if this is no biggie, but in reality, it really is! To greet your partner and for them to greet you back when you come home or leave the house is the first step to staying connected. I tell people that no matter what’s going on, you have 3 seconds to kiss, hug, high five or whatever your ritual becomes. Acknowledgement goes a long way when you want to stay connected.
- Stress Reducing Conversation – This one is also very important because if you do even have time to say hello/goodbye, then you have stress in your life. If you do, you need to talk about it. If you have no idea what I am talking about, then all you need to do is sit with your partner without any distractions and talk about a stress in your life. Your partner needs to listen and give empathetic support. Don’t give advice or take the other’s person side. Then switch listener/speaker roles. Trust me, it will help reduce the stress and you’ll feel closer too!
- Dates – Maybe this one should be a given but often, when I meet people, they tell me that dates are the last thing they think of. Really? How do you plan on connecting? Okay, maybe hiring a babysitter is not in the cards for you. You can take turns watching kids with another couple or even have dates at home. The point is to have them and keep having them. Ask each other out and make it special!
- 10 Minute Talks – There are a ton of conversational starters out there to help you have conversations if you are stuck on talking about your job, kids, house, etc. Find a relationship conversation starter and start taking at least 10 minutes a day.
- Give Appreciation – Talk nice to each other and compliment each other on what’s working. Give each other a reason to keep on doing what you want them to do. When you ask nicely, it helps and when you give appreciation, it helps make you feel loved and cherished.
So, those are to me the top 5 that I use to help my relationship. I do not pretend to be perfect at everything. But I also know that you cannot have a good relationship if you don’t put the effort in.
How About Those 2018 Relationship Goals?
You can add some of these to your relationship and see how it goes. Let me know!
Let’s Do 2018!
Happy New Year and Welcome to 2018! This will be a good year for me and I hope for you as well. My business is moving in the right direction, relationship is good, kids are good and I am turning 45 this year! I really like to focus on the past year instead of focusing on the future and the unknown. How can I make a plan for the future without knowing about the past?
So here goes my year review of 2017
The Good
I finally have 2 children in elementary school. I made it to the top of the mountain, as I like to call it. No more spending an hour in the store when I can run in for 5 seconds. Additional bonus to this is that they’ll both be in the same school for 4 years! Yep, same schedule for 4 years, I should just stop right now and enjoy this.
As I said, since both of my children are in school, I have time to focus on me. Wahoo, well, not that much time but still time. I get a massage or facial 1x a month. I go on date lunches with my husband when he works from home and I can exercise during the day! All good stuff.
My relationship has been worked on for the last 10 years and thankful for the The Gottman Method, lots of communication and clarification on what I need. I understand my love language and more importantly, my husband understand it as well. I get his and we both try to give as much as we can to each other!
Most importantly, we are healthy. I have crazy healthy kids. Myself, I try to stay healthy to help my sanity at all times. We try to eat right and work on ourselves when we can.
The Bad
It has also been a challenging year with health of my parents, craziness of trying to do the stay-at-home mom thing while working on my career.
My family is very important to me and when one person is not well, it affects us all. My mom had some health problems this year and my dad had some as well. Always puts all the small stuff in perspective when you are dealing with health problems. I will take healthy family over anything else and do not mind the small stuff anymore. Happy to report that everyone is on the mend and we are looking forward to a healthy 2018.
I struggle with the balance of working and doing the mom stuff. I know that it is not a bad really. I really enjoying the time i spend with my family and I really enjoy the time I spend with my clients. Always a struggle to find the right balance and where I am needed the most.
So, as in all of this craziness of the past year, I really think there was more good than bad. In saying that, I would love to know about your past year and how everything turned out for you.
Staying Calm
I have always imagined myself as a calm person and I strive to live that way. I have had two incidents lately that have questioned how I can stay calm when other people are so upset? I am struggling with this because I do believe that staying calm, listening to my inner voice and going slower will help me in the long run.
Here are some ways that I am going to practice to stay calmRead More
Dealing With Disappointment
As a mother, husband, daughter and friend I am always dealing with disappointment. I find my self struggling a times dealing with it and have to remember how I can help myself regroup and get through another day.
- Therapy – Some of you might think that this should be at the end of the list, but really why? If you are struggling with how to deal with something and you have the know how to get the right help then therapy would be the easiest way to do that.
- Talking – Well, this does happen a lot in therapy of course but I mean talking to the party that disappointed you. I bet they have no clue they did and I am a big believer in letting others know how you feel.
- Coping – As painful as getting to the gym is, once I leave I always feel better and I am more able to handle my day. Exercising is my stress relief but you can do any of them in order to feel better and move forward.
- Breathe – Yes, we do this one by itself but still when you are upset it is a good idea to focus on your breathing and calm the world around you.
- Tomorrow is another day – When life gets too complicated, sleep is the best medicine you can have. Today was disappointing but there is nothing written that tomorrow needs to be the same way. Enjoy the fact that you can go to bed and wake up with zero disappointments on your plate!
I am sure there are other ways to deal with disappointment and of course there are many unhealthy ways to do it as well. Can you think of positive/optimistic ways to deal with disappointment? If so I would love to hear about it in the comment section.