Tag Archives: counseling for one
Table for one, please
July 2, 2019
Happy summer to you. I hope you’re doing well. This topic was on my mind since my children are in camp and I have some time to myself without the hassle and bustle of school.
What does it mean to be in a relationship but still yourself?
I get when people say, yeah, when they’re with me, they’re my partner, but not with me, they act as if they’re single.
Nope, that’s NOT okay in my book, is it okay in your book?
What do you do if you want to make changes in your relationship but your partner is a hard NO WAY to counseling. This is couples counseling for one!
First, let’s break down some of the reasons your partner doesn’t want to come to counseling.
- Counseling is scary- Anyone that has been in my room knows counseling is NOT scary, it’s real for sure. Especially with me because there’s no sugar coating things, but your relationship can be scary at times as well.
- I’m content and happy- This might be completely true. Your partner might not have anything to work on and you want them to come to counseling to work on things. This can also go back to the scary part.
- Busy, busy, busy- Yep, this is real and you are busy and you need to find some time to work on your stuff. Travel, children, work, life, etc all take up time. Hint hint, your relationship does as well!
Okay, these are just a few reasons someone might not want to come to couples counseling. Do you see anywhere on that list that your partner doesn’t love you? Nope, just because your partner isn’t ready to go to counseling with you doesn’t mean they don’t care, it just means they’re not ready.
What does all this mean for you?
Of course you can come to counseling by yourself! We can work on your relationship if your partner is not in the room, will just be us working on things for you to bring home to your partner. Can you grow together if only one of you is working? Yep, you can! And I’d like to challenge you to come in, see how it works and realize that there’s hope.
If you’re thinking about counseling, you love counseling but your partner doesn’t, then couples counseling for one is perfect for you.
Spread the word
Let everyone know that you can go to counseling by yourself even if you’re in a relationship just like you can go to eat by yourself and proudly say, “Table for one.”
I just updated my counsleing for one page and here’s the link https://www.facetofacetherapy.com/therapy-services/marriage-therapy/counseling-for-one/
I look forward to hearing what you think about couples counseling for one!
Can Relationship Counseling Work with Just One Person?
June 7, 2015
I cannot tell you how many times, I either get a call or see someone in person and the first thing they say to me is, “I have wanted to come for awhile but my partner would not come so I got tired of waiting and came myself.” My answer is always, good for you and I can honestly say that coming for yourself will help you improve yourself and your relationship. Do you believe me? Let’s look at the reasons
1. The ripple effect: I explain this effect a lot and it was introduced to me early in my schooling when you drop a rock into the water and it skims on the surface it creates a ripple. The same thing happens when you start to make changes within yourself, you and those around you will benefit from those changes, sometimes for the better and sometimes it works the opposite way and you realize you are not happy and end things. Regardless, change occurs.
2. Your partner is always present: The goal in couple’s therapy is to stay neutral and listen to both sides equally and give sound advice. Its harder to do with one person but doable. Any of my clients can tell you that I side with the one that makes the most sense but in a couple both sides are right and a compromise is always obtainable with the right way to look at a situation.
3. Adding your partner later: This one has to do with the first two and usual happens if the person in therapy is making positive changes and the other partner wants to come and work. At least one person should be in the therapy room and be working on the relationship.
Coming to therapy is a hard, long decision that most people do not make lightly. When you are angry, you want change but you are unsure how to go about it. Therapy can help untangle things and work-out what needs to really be worked on. Trust me it works whether it’s with one person or two. Just make the call and try and see where it leads you!