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Tag Archives: boundaries
On your mark, get set… GO!
On your mark, get set and go! Where are you going? Yes, it’s the race that we all do or don’t partake in to the end of the year. For me, my end begins at Halloween. November and December just seem to fly by very quickly. What are you going to do to stay sane until the end of the year!?
A few ideas to keep you sane
- Get Organized – Okay, right now you have plenty of time to figure out what you want to wear to the holiday party, who you want to buy gifts for and who you don’t (it’s okay to take some people off your list). Start getting organized so you can calmly make it through the holidays!
- Stay Healthy – As your stress level goes up, your immune system goes down. How do you avoid getting sick around the holidays? Stay calm, find ways to reduce your stress and remember you’re just one person.
- Just Say No – This is always an important one for me and I’m getting better and better at it. Find out what you enjoy, what you want to do and the rest of it, say no thank you. No, you don’t have to go to all the holiday parties. No, you don’t have to volunteer at your child’s school. If you have the time, go for it, if you don’t, ditch the guilt and just say no
- It’s Budgeting Time – Really, you’re just one person and you can only do some much. You need to have a conversation with yourself and/or your partner if you have one and come up with a budget for the holidays and stick to it. Seriously, people go into major debt because of the holidays and that’s not going to be you. So many cute, inexpensive ideas. Talk to the family about a secret gift exchange, come up with creative ways to reduce your budget so you’re staying stress free about money.
- Delegate, Delegate and Delegate – Um yeah, I know you have heard this before, but you’re not the most important person in the universe. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Find your tribe, split up the tasks and hand off as much as you can. The world will not end if you don’t do it all yourself. Learn to share and hand things off!
- Take Time For Yourself – Well, if you laughed at this, then maybe you need to re-read some of the other ones! Yes, if you’re feeling the stress, it’s time to take a breather and work on decompressing. Trust me, you’ll be better for it in the end.
- Who’s Up For Eating – Did you enjoy thanksgiving? I’m not one of those that counts calories on holidays but in general, I’m a healthy eater. One day is fine, stress eating is not (because if you are stressed, then you’re not reading what I am writing). If you find yourself stress eating, then take a step backwards and follow the other steps.
I’m going to stop there for now because that’s enough for this post. I really want you to try to enjoy yourself this holiday season. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, you have my permission to pamper yourself, delegate your tasks and enjoy your time!
If you’re feeling stressed out, reach out to me and I can help for sure!
Saying yes to others means saying no to yourself!
I have said this phrase to people for a long time now, when you say yes to others you say no to yourself. So you might be asking, what does this mean. We all, mostly I mean myself have in the past spread myself way too thin and it has got me into trouble. I was a “yes” person and found it really hard to say no to people. Well, maybe it was because I was single or younger but I think I have finally found the balance and have learned to say NO.
I now have a career, a husband and two small children and it has made me realize how much more time I need for myself. I know sounds backwards right? When I was young and single I did not make time for myself but now I am older and wiser and I have learned the hard way that the only way to stay sane in this insane world is to make time for myself, have strong boundaries and still be the best person I can be. In fact, I do believe I am a better person with boundaries because I give where I want too and leave the rest for others.
People pleaser no more, I love people and helping them, hence my profession as a therapist, but I love even more the balance and boundaries that I have developed by learning the hard way “when you say yes to others, you say no to yourself”.
always living and learning
When should you say yes or no as a parent?
As a parent of 2 very stubborn children, I have had to learn very quickly when to pick my battles and when to stand my ground. This concept can also be known as when to say yes or when to say no. Here are some hard set lines on when I say no.
1. Respect– always say thank-you, please and you are welcome.
2. Violence-No hitting, biting, scratching or anything else. I do not do it to them so they will not do it to me or anyone else.
3. Personal hygiene-They need to take baths, brush teeth, brush hair, etc
Anything else is on a case by case basis. I have a way of letting them think they are getting there way when I really am. Saying yes is about figuring out what you are okay with and then find a way to compromise the rest. I want my children to be happy, but I also want them to grow up with rules and boundaries. It is a struggle everyday, but that is what support is for and tomorrow is always another day to fight the good fight called parenting!