Tag Archives: angry
I’m angry! Are you?
June 11, 2019
Happy summer to you! I sometimes talk about myself in sessions and I always get looks of relief to know that yes, I get mad at my husband, my kids, my family and YES, I am human.
Here’s the trick to anger, at least for me. It’s really how you deal with it that is how you feel afterwards.
I’m kind of a sensitive person and I take things to heart. I’m also a giver and I love to make other people happy. I know these things about myself and I also know that I’m a yeller and my husband is the quiet one.
I really don’t like being the yeller in the family. If you meet me, you wouldn’t think I’m the yeller so you know what I did one day? I decided I wasn’t going to yell anymore! You ask me how I did that? I really didn’t like the way I felt after yelling was over. Besides the fact that my throat was hurting me, I really didn’t like who I was. Yes, I was a bit scary.
How do you change?
So, how do you change something about yourself when you want to? Let’s break it down.
Know thyself!
I couldn’t really do this if I didn’t understand why I was yelling. I could blame my husband for this because he’s the silent one and I need communication, but what good would that do. I had to really look deep into myself and figure out the reasons I was yelling. Once I did that, I was able to change the way I spoke when I got angry.
No blaming
As I just said, it’s so easy to blame someone else. “Well, if they would talk more, I wouldn’t yell so much.” Nope, no way, that’s not how it works. Nobody makes you do anything. If I want to change myself, I have to change myself. Changing the people around me is not going to work.
Less stress, more calm
I like to think I’m a calm person, but if I’m yelling, am I really a calm person? Nope. So what can I do to calm myself when I feel like yelling? I can exercise, take some deep breaths, read, or anything to calm me down instead of yelling.
Trial and error
Anytime you want to change something about yourself, it is tough stuff! Even if you know it’s good for you to do, give yourself some breaks, please. We are so hard on ourselves and we need to be gentle. If you mess up, try again. Eventually, you will get it if you work hard enough on it.
So, do I still get angry?
Of course I do, it’s part of life and I’m only human. Do I yell still? Not so much and I feel as if I’ve grown from it. Yes, it’s possible to evolve if you want to.
Do you want to change how you deal with anything? If so, give me a shout and let me know.
Emotions, who has them and why?
June 23, 2015
I saw the movie Inside Out this past weekend with my family. It was a great movie and had an even greater lesson in it which most people would not recognize but me being me, I had to recognize and share with all of you.
So if you know the movie, it is about a girl who has emotions in her head. They are joy, sadness, anger, disgust and fear. Joy is the main emotion and she is always trying to stop the other emotions from overtaking her turn. Well, sadness is the main emotion that joy has a problem with which if you saw the movie, it turns out that joy and sadness get kicked out of main headquarters because joy does not think that sadness should be a part of Riley’s core memories.
Who else believes this? That sadness is a wrong emotion and should not be a part of our core memories? As it turns out joy realizes that whenever she is around that sadness is also there as part of the emotions and that joy and sadness go hand-in-hand together. So, in order to get the emotions back on track once they got back to headquarters, sadness needed to take over and fix everything. Why, you ask would sadness need to fix everything? Because, sadness was and is the correct emotion. Why are we so afraid to be sad?
Sadness is a necessary emotion to help us get our stress out, fix our problems and get closer to the ones we love. It helps us make decisions and learn how to love, apologize and how to try again. When you try to block this emotion from your head you are missing out on so much of your emotions.
If this movie or me teaches you anything, is that emotions are okay no matter which one you feel. Just feel it and work through it and you will get back to joy eventually. If you block out sadness, anger, disgust or fear, then joy will not be real. You need all of your emotions to successfully feel and learn how to share how you feel.
So go ahead and feel sad today, but then feel anger, disgust, fear and once you are done understanding all of your emotions then you can feel joy and really mean it!