All couples have different communication styles. You will very rarely see two individuals who communicate in the same exact way. This couldn’t be any more true for couples where one partner has ADHD.

ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, contrary to popular belief, is something that impacts adults, too, not just children. Having ADHD, or any other condition, does not mean that there is anything wrong with the person. Instead, being neurodivergent just means that the brain behaves differently.

Healthy communication in a relationship that is impacted by ADHD is absolutely possible. Getting there takes some work, but the same can be said for all relationships.

Here are five tips to communicate with your ADHD partner.

5 Tips to Better Communicate with Your ADHD Partner

1. Understand ADHD

The first step to being able to communicate with your partner is to understand what they have. There is a lot of misinformation and misconceptions about what living with ADHD is like. So, one of the first steps is researching how ADHD impacts somebody’s life.

By doing the proper research, you’ll be able to recognize the signs of ADHD in your partner that you may not have realized was due to the condition.

2. Focus On What They Are Saying

While they are talking, ensure that you aren’t distracted. That means putting away your phone or turning off the TV while in the middle of a conversation.

Being easily distracted is something that many, if not all, ADHDers struggle with. There’s a good chance that when you are talking together, they already have trouble focusing on the conversation. Showing them you are committed to paying attention during these times can also help them focus.

3. Don’t Take Things Too Personally

Someone who has ADHD is often impulsive. Often, they do or say things without thinking first. There’s nothing wrong with that in a lot of situations. However, this can often lead to disagreements when communicating.

How often have you heard your partner with ADHD say something that seems mean, condescending, or hurtful toward you? We can’t speak for all cases, but in many, this is often unintentional. Impulse control refers not just to behaviors but to words as well.

We all say things in the heat of the moment that we later regret, and someone with ADHD will often “go there” without even realizing it. Blurting things out that are on their mind is something that people with ADHD may do. So, when communicating with them, keep this in mind.

4. Accept Your Differences In Communication

We all have different communication styles. Often, these communication styles stem from early childhood relationships that we were influenced by. Keep in mind that no one actively chooses to communicate or react in the ways that they do. Rather, it is a learned behavior.

Learned behaviors can be retaught, but it won’t happen overnight. Instead of trying to change each other outright, couples should try to accept their differences and then learn to compromise to reach common middle ground. This is especially important for those who have ADHD because they likely already feel frustrated by this condition as it is. You should never make your partner feel worse about something they can’t control.

5. Try Counseling

It’s commonplace to blame communication issues on one set thing instead of looking at the bigger picture. The truth is, while ADHD can influence communication styles, there is often more to it than just that.

If there is a breakdown in communication between you and your partner, ADHD may influence it, but that doesn’t mean it’s the cause. Working with a counselor can help you learn the root cause of your problems and then work together.

Reach out to learn more about how couples therapy can help improve your communication with your ADHD partner.