It is the Jewish New Year and that means you get to throw out your sins and start anew for this year.  If it was only that easy.  How do you throw out your mistakes?  Better question is how do you learn from your mistakes.  How many times have you been pulled over for a speeding ticket?  Do you tell yourself that you will not EVER speed again! Ha, how long does that last you, a week a month, a day?  So, what is the motivation to not repeat the same mistakes?

If you are married or live with a partner I am sure you are always wondering when your partner will learn from their mistakes.  Seriously, how many times can one person do something before it can change.  I think the route of change is that the mistake has to be big enough and hurt enough in order to want to change.  Take the speeding ticket, okay you had to pay it and it was not fun, but did it affect you for the long run?  Does your partner/spouse forgive your mistakes when you say you are sorry and will try to do better?  If so, then where is the motivation to change?

I am a believer that people can change, hence I am a therapist and talk to people all the time that want change in their lives.  The people that come to therapy seeking change are the ones that do the best in therapy.  It is the ones that want others or their environment to change that get stuck in the therapy room.  Does not matter how you get to therapy, just matters what you do once you are there.  The only person that can change is you and even if your motivation is driven by your spouse or partner, they cannot help you. If you lie and want help to stop lying it resides in you to change.

So, I guess the moral here is that it’s not learning from your mistakes, its learning to change so you stop making mistakes or you fix those mistakes and find new ones to make!

If you have any ideas on how to change or fix your mistakes please leave a comment.