Do you like to clean?  Ugh have to admit, I kinda despise it. But I enjoy an organized house, not so much the deep cleaning.  So you ask why am I talking about cleaning in my couple’s counseling blog?  Well who has heard the term:

Let’s just sweep it under the rug

I meet way too many people in therapy that just do that and unfortunately I meet them when there isn’t any room under that rug.  How much room do you still have left under that rug?  Do you sweep things away for a later date?

People with attention problems know that when you leave something for later, you rarely go back to it. In couples counseling, you can always go back and try to work on what isn’t working. You swept it under the rug and now it’s time to deal with it. I bet there are some of the same issues 15 years ago that there are today so you don’t have to pick up the rug because the problems just keep on recycling.

What do people say?

What are some catch phrases that I have heard over the years about the rug?

“Oh, we just wanted to wait until the little ones were older.”

“Working on our careers and putting our relationship on the backburner.”

“When problems arise, just throw money at it, and forget it.”

“All couples have problems so we will just accept that this is the way it should be.”

Regardless of the reason you aren’t dealing with your problems, and you talk to me, we can talk it through.  Couples counseling is a great way to work through your problems especially if you feel stuck or that rug is overflowing.  I don’t care about all the problems, I care if you want to work on your relationship, is that spark there or are you already done?  If you’re done, that rug won but if you still want to work, then let’s do the hard work.

Ready to talk?

Whether you like to clean or not, relationships take work and lots of communication.  If you don’t know how to communicate and just push things aside, learning can help you with figuring out how to deal with conflict.  You don’t have to fix everything but you need to learn to communicate and work on fighting and especially making up.  Because what’s the point of fighting over the same stuff if you’re not going to move forward.

So, how big is the pile under your rug?  Let’s hear about it and start to make that pile smaller by talking through some of those conflicts in the therapy room.