Hope you’re well. We’re quickly approaching summer!  Not sure about you, but it’s been super busy around here and I’m looking forward to the slower pace over the summer.  We’ve had a lot of travel for work lately. My husband has had 3 business trips in the last 2 months and yes, I went to a Gottman Level 3 refresher course to get even more knowledge to help all of my couples!  

That’s a lot of long distance time. I’ve been in a long distance relationship in the past and they are a struggle.  

How do you manage when one or both of you is traveling for work?  

Do you do the same rituals of connection that you do when you’re both home?  It is easier or harder for you to stay connected?

For us, it’s much easier to stay connected when we’re both in the same house and staying connected has been a work in progress, but I can say that we have nailed it!  I wanted to share some tidbits on what I believe works.

What’s Working

• Rituals of connections:  Yes, it’s even more important to discuss about your day and work on those rituals while you’re away. Now is a good time to create new rituals to help you throughout the day to stay connected.

• Talk/FaceTime everyday: In the past it seemed more important for my husband to FaceTime with our children than with me.  We lumped our talks together. Recently, we realized that talking to the kids was one thing, us chatting was another.  Take some time and chat everyday. Even it is for a few minutes. But try to separate kid time and couples time if you can.

• Nighttime:  Say goodnight to each other even if it’s through text or email.  End the day and start the day with something to connect you. I know these are rituals but they’re the ones that I think are the most important.

• Expectations:  Before the trip, talk about your and your partner’s expectations about what the distance means to both of you. Understand that your needs are coming from a place of love, not so much of the place of nagging. If knowing your partner is safe when they land, let them know.  If knowing if your partner is back in their hotel room, let them know.

• Talk it out:  If something is bothering you, figure out a good way to express it and talk it out.  Waiting for your partner to return will only lead to the build up and who wants that!

• Love languages:  Do you know what your love languages are?  If you do, let’s make sure both of them are being honored while you’re apart from each other.

I thought I’ do the good and the bad

Yea, but I changed my mind.  Let’s just focus on what you can do to stay connected if one of you are away.  Remember how you stay connected when you’re at home and find something similar or create something completely new when you’re apart.  Don’t wait until your partner gets home to unload on them. Stay connected and remember that your mental loads are both high. If you’re home, you’re taking care of everything here, if you’re away, you’re missing home and trying your best to do the best job you can do while you’re away.  

And then come back together

Make sure you reconnect instead of just going about your business as usual.  Enjoy this time apart and who knows, you can use it to flirt, connect and just have fun together!!

Happy traveling!!

Ps. If you have something else that works while your traveling, please share it with us so we can all learn from you!

Until next time!

PPS.  if you don’t know your love languages and you want to take a quiz https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/