Who knows that my passion is working with affairs?  The reason this has become my passion is because I see how much time and effort couples put into their relationship when they work through an affair.  

YES!  You can successfully work through an affair.

I’ve had a few conversations lately with people who didn’t really think they were having an affair. Of course it makes me wonder…

So what is an emotional affair?  

By definition, the term emotional affair is used in the media to categorise or explain a certain type of relationship. High levels of non-sexual emotional intimacy in adults may occur without the participants being bound by other intimate relationships or may occur between people in other relationships. (Wikipedia)

Okay that’s the Wikipedia definition.  I define emotional affairs as anyone that you’re talking to outside of your relationship that you enjoy talking to more than your partner.

Let’s break down some areas where the line gets shady on emotional affairs

• Texting only – Can you really be cheating if you never meet someone in person?  Do you smile when you get the texts? Are you waiting to tell that person about your day?  If so, yes you are CHEATING.

• Hiding sex toys – You can cheat without involving anyone else with sex toys by hiding them from your partner.  If you wait until your partner leaves to pleasure yourself, then you are withholding info from them.

• It’s just lunch –  Let’s say you have lunch with someone each week and you keep it casual, but you don’t share with your partner because you think they’ll get upset.  Guess what? They will get upset because you aren’t sharing and the doubt creeps in.

• Bye bye, going to the gym now – Do you exercise at the same time everyday?  Is there someone there that you see all the time and you two have gotten to be friendly.  Do you get excited at the idea of seeing them? If so, this is an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR

Just remember that it wasn’t always so hard to talk to your partner and if you stop talking to them, you will find someone else to talk to.  Have the hard conversations. Talk about your days. Share your inner world and stay connected.

As with everything I write, there is always more stuff to say and i do love it when you reach out and tell me what’s going on in your life.  If you have an alternate way to explain emotional affairs, let me know. If you don’t agree with me, then let me know that too.

If you think your partner is cheating on you, here is a quiz to take https://www.facetofacetherapy.com/quiz/infidelity