I work with couples

I work with couples, as you all know by now. When I meet my wonderful clients, I meet them at a time in there lives when things could be better.  Well, that was a nice way to say it.  Typically, people only reach out for help when things are really bad.  I would love to change that and have people reach out to me when things are good, but that’s for another blog.

When I meet with people, especially the ones that go through affair recovery, (yes, you can recover from an affair) I use the term “second marriage“, or “second relationship” for those not married.

What is a Second Marriage?

I use the Gottman Method with my couples.  Especially when going through an affair it’s hard to give up everything about your relationship.  I know most people believe it’s a deal breaker but that is before it happens to you and then you’re in a state of shock and you have history together.

What do you do?  Throw it all away?  Discard all of the good times because of the bad?  If you are coming to me for help, you know that I tell people that they’re much stronger after the affair recovery because it takes a lot of guts and sweat to get through it, for both partners.  For the accused it takes guts to talk about the affair and for the innocent, to hear about it.   It’s painstaking no matter which way you look at it and that’s where the second relationship comes in.  It’s called the Second Marriage.

How does it work?

We use the sound relationship house as a guide to repair the relationship.  We realize through this repair that you don’t want to go back to the old ways.  Whether you didn’t communicate enough or lost intimacy or passion, there were things missing that led you to my office and into this new marriage… things will be different!

You get to decide to say how you feel, understand that being hurt is okay and can make you stronger and how to lean on your partner instead of turning away.  This second marriage is the one you used to have, or maybe never did, but it is the one that you leave my office with.

It’s not just for affairs

If you are struggling with your partner and would like a chance at your second marriage, let’s talk and figure out what that means to you.  Let’s figure out how we can get you to your happy!