When I work with couples, I eventually get asked this question “Are we a good couple, will we make it?” My answer usually is this: if you are trying and putting effort into your relationship then yes it will work, if you expect your partner to change while you do nothing then no. The phrase that I use is “it takes two to tango”.

I also reference work performance reviews all the time. Let’s say that you have a job outside of your house and each year you expect to get a raise and promotion without putting any effort into your job, would you still get a good review? The answer is no, the same works with relationships, they take an enormous amount of effort in order to work.

Here are the few things I think all couples should do:

-set time to talk about your relationship. Come from an “I” place where you say how you feel and not blame your partner.

-take time for yourself so you can recharge and be a happier person for your relationship.

-communicate all the time, when you stop talking your relationship breaks down, talk, talk, talk!

Of course there are more and I would love to hear from you how you think relationships work.