I have been thinking about compromise lately because as a marriage and family therapist I have the pleasure of working with couples and one problem that some couples have is compromise.  To really compromise it is not about one person winning and the other losing its about both people getting what they really want.  Let me explain through an example:

In this relationship one partner is a doer and one is a thinker/planner.  When things need to get done the doer wants it done and the planner wants to plan.  Neither way is wrong and it is actually healthy to have that mix in their relationship in order to function but as you could guess it causes lots of arguments.  When the doer wants something done lets say fixing a shower door.  Where should the compromise be in this?

To fully compromise the doer should get a date that it can be done by and the planner can give that date and do the research to make it a great job!  Both get what they want which is a shower door and neither have to fully compromise on who they are.  That is the basis of all of this, is that when you are compromising who you are meaning giving in too much you loose yourself in your relationship.  Communication needs to be changed and compromise needs to be mutually beneficial to both parties in the relationship to avoid all of those conflicts that couple’s love to have!

Compromise and communication are the main components of making a relationship work.  Can anyone think of any other components that make a relationship work?