Happy summertime!  Are you finding any more time in your schedule to relax?  Are your kids in camp or at home driving you crazy already?  Summer is a more relaxed time in our house and in between camps and free time, everyone has a bit more time on their hands.

I hear from people all the time about social media, someone is on it too much, someone doesn’t like it at all, screen time was up this week etc etc.  Is there anything wrong with spending your down time on social media? Well, that all depends on what you are doing there and how much you trust each other.

Let’s talk about John and Sue

John uses insta for his business and feels it’s the best way to connect with his customers.  So John is on insta a lot for business and Sue is okay with that until she happens to find his phone and then realize he is liking pictures that really have nothing to do with his business and he is chatting with other girls on insta.

Well, Sue is livid and John is trying to understand what he did wrong?  Did he do anything wrong……  Um, the bottom line with trust is just that, TRUST is the core that keeps a relationship together and you have it until you don’t.

John still really doesn’t understand what he did wrong and keeps defending his actions, he didn’t cheat, didn’t meet with anyone, definitely didn’t have sex with anyone, just hit like on a few bikini pictures.  Sue is trying to explain to John that hitting like on those pictures has nothing to do with his business and everything to do with how he feels about the picture.  

Okay, John kind of gets it but now Sue doesn’t want John on insta and doesn’t trust him anymore and he is losing business because he just cancels his insta account.

Do you want to know what happens?

All of this has to do with trust and John and Sue had to work on repairing trust in their relationship.  John got some individual counseling and realized that he has some attachment issues and didn’t want to get too close to Sue.  In couples counseling John and Sue had to find forgiveness and look at the cracks in their relationship to repair and find new ways to connect.

Can trust be repaired?

The short answer is YES!  It’s hard and it’s not for everyone.  When you’re betrayed, it hurts. When your partner doesn’t understand what they did was betrayal, that hurts even more.  

What can you do?

Each relationship needs to define trust. John and Sue definitely had to talk about the boundaries of their relationship and work on rebuilding trust. 

Have some open conversations. If I did this, would you be upset?  Figure out where your boundaries are before it leads to betrayal.