How many times have you had the argument that you were right and all you were doing was trying to prove your point?  I know I have and I’ve realized from being in a relationship for a while and all this training that I’ve done or who knows, maybe it’s just getting older and exhausted all the time, that WE ARE BOTH RIGHT!

Of course you are right about how you feel.  

Of course your partner is right about how they feel.

The question is how do you compromise when you both are RIGHT, umm, drum roll please…

Here’s the real deal.  You are in a relationship, so instead of thinking of it as “I need to win”, how about we change the language to “WE” NEED TO WIN.  That’s really what it boils down to right?  Who needs to be heard more?

Here’s how you both win.

• Listening is key- So if you two are just talking over each other, you cannot hear what the other one is saying.  So take turns talking and listening and who knows, maybe you do agree after all, you’re just saying it in different ways.
• Temporary compromise– Okay, you’ve done the listening thing and you still don’t agree, then find some points that you do agree on and start there.  There are usually a few points that you can both agree on, so use them as a starting point and talk about them.
• Passion and your core– Some people can just argue their point longer and better than their partner and usually the other one caves in.  DON’T DO THIS PLEASE. Instead, find out which one of you cares more about the issue/situation and if you have any core beliefs related to it.  If you do, talk about them first and even if you don’t agree, you can figure out what you’re passionate about. Hint-don’t be passionate about everything, pick your battles.
• Agree to disagree-This is different than giving in.  You’re both passionate about your points, you both have core issues that you care about, but you love your partner and respect their feelings.  So agree to disagree and move on!

The general point here is:

STOP AND LISTEN.  STOP TRYING TO PROVE YOU ARE RIGHT.

Remember that you love your partner and you didn’t pick yourself.  You picked someone that views the world differently than you, which is going to create conflict, different opinions on things.  If you are able to listen to each other, you might realize that you are both right and not so different than you thought.

REMEMBER YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS RIGHT, NOT EACH OF YOU INDIVIDUALLY.