I’m always writing about things that I experience as well as things I find that will be helpful to you.  There are a few phrases that I repeat over and over again and this is one of them, “When you become a couple everyone else is considered extended family.” What does this mean to you or even me?  It becomes really simple when you think about an umbrella or even a roof over your head, walls around you and everyone else looking inside through a window.  Yep. what does that mean in real life to you?

It means YOU always choose your partner

What are some ways to protect yourself from fighting about extended families or even feeling stressed because you’re being pulled in too many directions?

Let’s break it down here

Choose me
Life becomes simple when you don’t have a choice and you always know what to choose.  Choosing your partner, your children over your parents, or siblings makes it easier to have a closer relationship with your partner.

Talk about it
If either of you are having a hard time with your family, your partner’s family or close friends, this is the ideal time to have one of those stress reducing conversations and put some points in the emotional bank.  You have each other’s back for sure.

Back-to-back
When your partner is venting, it’s a great time to have their back.  Meaning, don’t get upset with them, just listen, be supportive and hold your upset emotions in.  If you get upset as well, then it WILL lead to a different conversation or even a fight.

Pick your battles
Let’s go back to the first rule about siding with your partner.  This will be something that you both will have to decide. If you or your partner has a family member that is upsetting, decide together what to get into with them and figure out together how to deal with it.

Holidays
If holidays are fun for you with your families, great!  If not, you both need to decide what it means to be a family and what you want to show your family.

Hear me now! IT IS OKAY TO SKIP HOLIDAYS.

I put that in caps because I didn’t want you to miss it.  Enjoy your time with your family and your holidays should be enjoyable.

Does this make sense?  If it does, then you need to work to figure out what part of this does, talk to your partner and decide together how to deal with it.  Don’t make your partner the enemy. Don’t take out your frustrations on your partner because of your family.

REMEMBER TO CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER!