Spending, spending and more spending
April 21, 2019
| Just looking at this title make you cringe? It does for me for sure! Who is a “spender”? Who is a saver and who is in the middle? Do you know what your relationship with money is? There are people that make a career out of helping people identify their hang ups with money. Do you act the same way your parents did or do you do something different? Every couple that I work with (and I mean everyone one) has something to say about money. Which is a good thing because if you are similar with money, that’s okay. But if you’re different that’s okay as well! The only thing that’s not okay is staying silent about it.Let’s break down the okays and the not okays about money in your relationship. |
NOT OKAY
| Hiding things – I hear all sorts of people talk about how they hide purchases from their partner? Seriously, if you need to hide it, don’t buy it. Yes, it is a form of betrayal if you are buying things without your partner knowing about it. Coping – Are you mad at your partner for working too much? Do you think if you spend money that will make you happier? It might, but let’s make sure we are doing it for the right reasons. If you’re spending money out of spite, sit down and talk about it. Separation – Even reading that word is not okay right? It is okay to have separate accounts if that’s what you both want, if it’s not, then it’s not okay. Even if you have separate accounts and you’re married, they’re jointly owned. What’s not okay here is having secrets about your accounts. I didn’t say surprises. You can surprise your partner with a gift, but having a secret account that they don’t know about isn’t okay. Silence is so not golden here – If you can’t talk about it, then you shouldn’t be doing it! Even with separate accounts, you need to have a money talk at least 1x a month. Yes, you two need to sit down and talk about money. |
HOORARY, IT’S OKAY
| Spending more than you make – I put this here because it’s a fact of life. Life is expensive and if you’re spending more than you make, it’s okay as long as it is temporary, you have a plan to change it and you’re talking about it. Staying at home is a job! – If you are a worker and you quit your job to take care of your children and you think that isn’t a job, stop right NOW. It’s so a job and each year they come up with a stay at home salary. In 2018 the salary was $162,000 and in 2019 its $160,000. You get my point. You’re working and stop feeling like you aren’t. It’s okay to stay-at-home and it’s okay to spend money like you are working, yes it’s okay. Messing up – If you mess up, spend without talking about it, feel bad about spending, etc, call for a chat and talk about it. It can only be resolved if you two talk, so talk. |
Get the point?
| Mostly in the NOT OKAY category there are things where you hide stuff, in the OKAY category it’s mostly stuff that you talk about. Just talk about money please. I know it’s hard, I know its emotional but I promise the more you do it, the easier it will be!!! So just do it!! Let me know how you communicate about money!! |