So, who goes out to dinner alone? If you do, do you fully embrace the experience or do you bring a book to read? I’ve done it a few times and sometimes it’s okay, other times I would like company. I guess that’s me and eating is a social thing for me.

What about other activities? Would you go to the movies alone? That’s a little different than eating by yourself, at least for me it is. What about going to therapy alone to work on your relationship? What do we think of that?

I’m a couple’s therapist and I work with couples. Could I work with one person in the couple to help the relationship? That’s what we are going to talk about today and when it’s appropriate to have a party of one or two!

Let’s start with individual therapy

You want to improve yourself for your partner
To me this is the #1 reason people come see me individually. Let’s say you have something from your past or something from your present that holds you back from fully engaging. Talking alone could help with your relationship.

You want to start therapy but your partner doesn’t
It happens, you are looking for changes, your partner doesn’t think there should be changes. Yes, it’s okay to call and come in yourself. You can bring those changes home with you. It’s called the “ripple effect” One change can lead to multiple changes. Always worth trying.

Your partner tells you that you need to be FIXED!
I love this one and yes it’s true that people need to be fixed, but the system needs to be fixed. It takes 2 people to fight or 2 people to be good together. If you need to be fixed, sure let’s work on what needs to be fixed.

Couples together time

Communication
If you have trouble communicating, let’s work on it in the same room. The only way we are going to make changes if we work together on this.

Intimacy
Ok, you’re thinking of more annoyances than love lately. When was the last time you kissed your partner? If intimacy has faded, then it’s a good idea to work on the reasons it faded and how we can get it back.

Big life decisions
If you have disagreements on the big stuff which to me is parenting, money or religion to name a few, let’s talk about it together once we work on the communication and the intimacy!

Affairs
Yes, as hard as it is, and I’m not going to lie, it is very hard to work on, if you are going to recover, you both need to be committed to working on it together. It is possible and yes it is challenging.

Change only happens if change occurs

There are always more in each category but the bottom line is, if you want to work together, come in together, if your partner is not ready, come in by yourself.

Whomever is willing to do the work, that person will change and hopefully your relationship will change.

I look forward to hearing from you!! Reach out jennifer@facetofacetherapy.com and let me know.