It’s Tough

If anyone is wondering, yes, it’s extremely hard to be married or in a relationship with a therapist, especially a therapist that specializes in couples. Why, you ask? Well, if you can’t fix your own relationship, how can you fix others?  At least that’s how I view it.  I tell my clients all the time that I practice what I preach and that what I teach them, I do as well.

Do I Do it All the Time?

Of course not.  Do my husband and I fight?  Of course we do.  Do I yell at my children or others at times?  Yep, yelling at the top of my lungs.  I have to say that I don’t strive to achieve perfection because I have no idea what that even means.  What I strive for, and I’d hope that you would too, is happiness, balance and fulfillment in your days.

Is Your Partner Supportive?

Let’s get to the part where you ask yourself, “is my partner supportive of me?”  It’s so hard to see sometimes, especially when you have different love languages and your partner is trying to do good.  Sometimes, all you see is the negative.  You try to do good but all they see is negative.  So how can we figure out if our partners are supportive?

1. Parenting together- Do you back each other up when it comes to parenting? Does your partner support what you say even though they might not agree? If so, you can check this one as being supportive.
2. Celebrations- Does your partner celebrate you? It might not be what you want but do they try? If so, then say thank you and wait until later to tell them how to do it better.
3. Talk about stress- Are you two talking about outside stressors? Do you feel better knowing your partner has your back? If you feel your partner has your back, you have this one!
4. Supporting outside friendships- Do you two have friends? If so if you want to have a girls/guys night out is that okay?  It’s healthy to have outside friends and interests and it’s enjoyable to come back and talk about them.
5. Sharing household duties- This might be the hardest one that you can see because you both are so busy with work, life, children and even the pets that it’s hard to see what your partner is doing.  If your partner is trying and doing then you are working as a team!

I’m not going to overload this list because once you talk too much sometimes the negative comes out. With each positive there can be negatives.

The Bottom Line

You need and should feel supported by your partner and if you aren’t, then you need to talk to them about it and find ways to improve.  Yes, there are always ways to improve our imperfect lives.  We’re striving for perfect, we’re striving for love and respect!

Let’s all take a moment and think about how we are loved and respected and as always please share how you feel.