I figured I would give you a little time to read my last post “How to be a Great Listener” before I wrote this as a follow-up. Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don’t do it.

Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener? If so, here it is.

Read Between the Lines

To be an even better listener, you need to read between the lines of what your partner is saying. You need to focus on HOW your partner is saying things, not just what they’re saying. You need to convey understanding. Examples are here to help:

Your partner says, “This apartment is my prison.” You say, “Wow, it sounds as if you are really trapped. Is that right? Am I getting it right?”

Your partner says. “I feel like the train has left and I’m still standing at the station.” You say, “So you feel as if the world is passing you by and your own life is at a standstill?”

Have Regular Stress Reducing Conversations

Find out who or what is stressing your partner.  Know who the main people are in your partner’s life. Learn their names.  Find out what is working in your partner’s life.  Basically sit down with no distractions and talk/listen to each other at least 1x a week.

Just Be There and Listen

Yep, it is really that easy. Put down the phone, iPad, TV remote and have a conversation. Listen with empathy and understanding. Only give advice if your partner asks you to.  Do not solve the problem or internalize it, you’re doing the work by listening and that’s enough to feel loved, supported and most importantly, an advanced listener!

Listening is a skill we have to learn along with all other skills

Try incorporating listening into your daily routine and see how your partner responds to you. Enjoy your new found connection through listening!