Face to Face Therapy Presents

The Blog of Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT

Teaching and learning how to be disappointed

by : Dr. Lagrotte

Parenting

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July 15, 2015

Okay, this is a very personal blog but that is what this is for to talk, learn and to listen.  I had the pleasure of learning so many lessons this morning dropping my children off at camp that it had to be remembered and shared to experience life as it comes.

My children love “mommy camp” but as we all know, I work and need time away from them so I have them signed up for camp a few weeks this summer.  Today was the first day back at camp after 2 weeks of “mommy camp”.  As we were approaching the door, the tears started and they got worse and worse.  I did my usual things to try to calm them down.  I say them because the older one was upset and the younger one was upset because the older one was crying. Yes, lovely right, you are trying to make one stop crying and the other starts.

Well, at a point I decided I had to leave.  I got the promises, the guilt, the everything and realized I had to make a run for it.  Why, because I had things scheduled that I could not miss which now I am so thankful for and grateful once again for my wonderful supportive husband because once I got to the parking lot I called him in tears mind you and he was great!  Said all the things I needed to hear and the best part is that he is right.

We need to let our children be uncomfortable and experience life and learn how to deal with disappointment.  As adults we deal with disappointment all the time but why do we, at least I think that we should shield our children from it.  I knew once I left they would calm down and have fun, but it was so hard leaving.  I believe with the support of my husband I did the right thing and taught them and myself a valuable lesson today on how to deal with disappointment.

As I was sitting in the parking lot, I had one mother tell me my children were crying and another telling me that sometimes you just have to let them cry.  No matter what you believe, I do believe that we need to teach them they cannot get their way all the time and that they need to do what is expected of them just because they are children and parents make up the rules.

So, do you want to know how it turned out?  Of course it was great! Picked them up, ate their lunch and I was told, “Mommy, I had so much fun and even met a new friend.”  Geez what was I worried about.  The bottom line is that for me I need to trust my training and my mommy instincts in order to let my children learn about life!

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