Ok, long title and one that might seem not right when it comes to parenting. What does that mean that you have to be selfish? Well, let’s put it in another frame of mind. How about you say that you be selfful? Yes, my spell check tells me that is not a word but I use that phrase a lot when I am working with people. What does it all mean?

Who’s been on an airplane? All of us at some point of another. Who listens to the announcement about procedures? If you have listened once it has told you that if the airbags come down, put one on yourself first then your child or your neighbor that might need help. Yeah right! Who is going to put one on themselves first before their child? The people that come to therapy would because if you cannot take care of yourself then you cannot take care of your child! That being said, we all have different stress levels, patience levels and tolerance levels so when you start comparing yourself to others it is a loosing battle. Here is what you need to know to survive the parenting game.

1. Know yourself and your limits.
2. Recognize when your limits are being reached and you need time to yourself.
3. Take that time, reenergize and then go back to reaching your limits again!

Easier said than done but it needs to happen in order for you to be a functional person/parent. You are not doing yourself or your child any good if you are too stressed out to take care of them. You will either start yelling or worse they will. How do these kids know when we are down and out.

So, you say to yourself at this point, I cannot take a break? I have no help nor do I have money for help. Here are some alternatives for you.

1. Find activities that your children love and can do mostly independently so you can at least have a mind break.
2. Find children for your children to play with so you can zone out.
3. Swap your children with a friend and you do the same so you can have a break.

These are just a few examples of how you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. We love our children but we need to love ourselves more in order to be the best parent we can be.

If you have any great ideas on how you zone out or take a break, let me hear them!