Okay, I have been hearing a lot about parenting lately and one parent always saying to me, “He doesn’t help” I am using the female/male voice in this post because it is easier and of course there are tons of dads out there that the situation is reveresed. So, how do we start the process of shared parenting?

Let’s stop asking for help and let’s decide roles together. Both of you are working whether it is outside of the house or at home, there are always things to do and it gets tiring to always ask someone for help. I know that my partner will do anything I ask, but I do not want that, I want it to be equal and just automatic. In saying this, I realize that I need to change the way I think and move on to more co-parenting and not primary parenting. When two parents are involved, it is easy for one parent to do most of the day to day stuff and the other to come in and “help”. Let us say that the secondary parent needs to find ways to stay involved without asking the primary parent if they need any help. I would like the word help to be eliminated from each and every household and for everyone to have a family plan as my previous post talked about. I want both of you to work together to figure out which parenting/household skill your good at and work on those skills and check in with each other to make sure both are happy and satified.

The trick is to give your partner space to do things his/her way. You did not marry yourself and you cannot expect your parnter to do things the way you do them. If you want to go out one night, let your partner know he/she is parenting that night. Not that they are helping with the kids, but you will be gone and they will be parenting. If we can just change the word from “help” to parenting, I will be happy with that and then we can work on the rest of it in another post!

As always, share your thoughts and opinions on how this works in your house!