{"id":864,"date":"2023-12-11T12:24:09","date_gmt":"2023-12-11T17:24:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?p=864"},"modified":"2023-12-11T12:24:11","modified_gmt":"2023-12-11T17:24:11","slug":"secrets-and-suprises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/","title":{"rendered":"Secrets and Suprises"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>We are in the home stretch of the year! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hello, December, and how are you doing?\u00a0 Did you do any stuffing for Thanksgiving or did you just eat yummy food?\u00a0 I hope it was more about eating than stuffing your feelings because this month is another time that can either be great or so\/so.\u00a0 So let\u2019s talk about the holidays coming up and of course, we will talk about your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Are you done with your holiday shopping, just getting started, or somewhere in the middle?\u00a0 The holidays are almost here and whatever you celebrate, you should enjoy your time right?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Are you the one who buys the gifts?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If so, do you share with your partner what gifts you get or do you keep them a surprise? \u00a0That&#8217;s what we&#8217;re talking about here, the idea that surprises are exciting but secrets not so much.\u00a0 So, let\u2019s talk about the difference and how we can avoid keeping secrets in our relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Are some secrets Okay?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I just gave you an example of a surprise right?\u00a0 If you are keeping your presents from each other and excited to share when it\u2019s time to open them, that\u2019s great!\u00a0 It shows genuine affection to get your partner a gift in your relationship and get all giddy on your partner opening your gift.\u00a0 You\u00a0 can do surprises in other ways, such as date nights (you are doing dates correct?)\u00a0 If you like to keep the element of surprise in your romance go for it, if you need more of a plan then that\u2019s okay as well.\u00a0 Now we know what can stay a secret right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What\u2019s not okay to keep a secret?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Um, anything else.\u00a0 What do I mean? Well, what should we share with our partner?\u00a0 If you ask me,\u00a0 the answer is everything but\u00a0 I\u2019m realistic and I know there are some things that you still need to keep to yourself, but I need you to ask yourself why do you want to keep this from your partner.\u00a0 Will it hurt them or you? Do you feel embarrassed by what you are keeping to yourself, even if you are keeping your stress to yourself that is way too much?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In marriage and\/or long-term relationships, your partner is your ally and should be on the same team when it comes to how you feel.\u00a0 Okay, if you like different sports teams then for one day it\u2019s okay to route for your team!\u00a0 At least make it fun for yourself and enjoy the back and forth about your teams and make sure you come together afterwards and work on reconnecting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How do you start sharing everything?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Ah, the big T words are what this is about.\u00a0 Trust, Trust, and more trust.\u00a0 You need to be able to be vulnerable with each other to share anything.\u00a0 If I know my partner will be mad at the amount of gifts I bought my family for the holidays, I\u00a0 might be tempted to keep the amount from him (yes that\u2019s a secret).\u00a0 If he asks how much I\u00a0 spent, do I get defensive and wonder why he is asking or just know he is just curious?\u00a0 Okay,\u00a0 here is where trust comes in.\u00a0 Have you talked about this before?\u00a0 Do you feel guilty about how much you have spent? If so you might get upset with him asking, but in reality, you should be able to talk about this and everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, are you keeping secrets and\/or surprises from your partner?\u00a0 If so, let&#8217;s figure out how to make those conversations easier so you want to share them with your partner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Did you do any stuffing for Thanksgiving or did you just eat yummy food?  I hope it was more about eating than stuffing your feelings because this month is another time that can either be great or so\/so.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":865,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[67,157,156],"class_list":["post-864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples","tag-communication","tag-honesty","tag-secrets"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Secrets and Suprises - Face to Face Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Did you do any stuffing for Thanksgiving or did you just eat yummy food? I hope it was more about eating than stuffing your feelings.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Secrets and Suprises - Face to Face Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Did you do any stuffing for Thanksgiving or did you just eat yummy food? I hope it was more about eating than stuffing your feelings.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Face to Face Therapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-12-11T17:24:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-11T17:24:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Dr. Lagrotte\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Dr. Lagrotte\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Dr. Lagrotte\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b\"},\"headline\":\"Secrets and Suprises\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-12-11T17:24:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-11T17:24:11+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/\"},\"wordCount\":622,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"communication\",\"honesty\",\"secrets\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Couples\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/\",\"name\":\"Secrets and Suprises - Face to Face Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-12-11T17:24:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-11T17:24:11+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b\"},\"description\":\"Did you do any stuffing for Thanksgiving or did you just eat yummy food? I hope it was more about eating than stuffing your feelings.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg\",\"width\":1200,\"height\":768},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Secrets and Suprises\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Face to Face Therapy\",\"description\":\"Blog of Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b\",\"name\":\"Dr. Lagrotte\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/68533ebf9d484533e5b44fce381d3f733dc0d35a5acdf344f1b17074ef721f07?s=96&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/68533ebf9d484533e5b44fce381d3f733dc0d35a5acdf344f1b17074ef721f07?s=96&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Dr. Lagrotte\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/author\/jenniferfacetofacetherapy-com\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Secrets and Suprises - Face to Face Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte","description":"Did you do any stuffing for Thanksgiving or did you just eat yummy food? I hope it was more about eating than stuffing your feelings.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Secrets and Suprises - Face to Face Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte","og_description":"Did you do any stuffing for Thanksgiving or did you just eat yummy food? I hope it was more about eating than stuffing your feelings.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/","og_site_name":"Face to Face Therapy","article_published_time":"2023-12-11T17:24:09+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-12-11T17:24:11+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1200,"height":768,"url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Dr. Lagrotte","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Dr. Lagrotte","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/"},"author":{"name":"Dr. Lagrotte","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b"},"headline":"Secrets and Suprises","datePublished":"2023-12-11T17:24:09+00:00","dateModified":"2023-12-11T17:24:11+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/"},"wordCount":622,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg","keywords":["communication","honesty","secrets"],"articleSection":["Couples"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/","url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/","name":"Secrets and Suprises - Face to Face Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg","datePublished":"2023-12-11T17:24:09+00:00","dateModified":"2023-12-11T17:24:11+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b"},"description":"Did you do any stuffing for Thanksgiving or did you just eat yummy food? I hope it was more about eating than stuffing your feelings.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/kristina-flour-BcjdbyKWquw-unsplash-e1702315237270.jpg","width":1200,"height":768},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2023\/12\/11\/secrets-and-suprises\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Secrets and Suprises"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/","name":"Face to Face Therapy","description":"Blog of Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b","name":"Dr. Lagrotte","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/68533ebf9d484533e5b44fce381d3f733dc0d35a5acdf344f1b17074ef721f07?s=96&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/68533ebf9d484533e5b44fce381d3f733dc0d35a5acdf344f1b17074ef721f07?s=96&r=pg","caption":"Dr. Lagrotte"},"url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/author\/jenniferfacetofacetherapy-com\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/864","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=864"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/864\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":866,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/864\/revisions\/866"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=864"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=864"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=864"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}