{"id":716,"date":"2019-06-18T09:30:19","date_gmt":"2019-06-18T13:30:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?p=716"},"modified":"2019-09-23T11:13:44","modified_gmt":"2019-09-23T15:13:44","slug":"can-i-help-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2019\/06\/18\/can-i-help-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Can I Help You?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Hi<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Happy summering from me to you! &nbsp;Are you enjoying the rain storms or waiting until autumn? &nbsp;I\u2019ve lived in Florida for my entire life and I\u2019m finding the weather to be more and more unpredictable than ever before. &nbsp;I used to play and then for an hour it would rain, then play some more.  Now, it\u2019s raining all day or looking like it\u2019s going to rain.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m a creature of habit and of course I try to mix things up a bit in my life now and again. &nbsp;One thing I try to be consistent on is my belief that anyone that wants to work on their relationship can and should whether it\u2019s with me or not. &nbsp;So, when someone comes to me and I have the first session, I say the same thing over and over again which is, \u201cI have the tools to help you, you\u2019re going to have to have the willingness to accept help.\u201d &nbsp;I get a lot of \u201cokay, sounds good\u201d and for the most part it works.  I help people or they decide that they don\u2019t want help.  I really try to think about how I can help everyone that wants help and I\u2019ve come up with a few ideas on what I have seen work and what doesn\u2019t work.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>WHAT WORKS<\/strong><br><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Consistency-<\/strong> Making your relationship a priority is the way to make it work. &nbsp;When people come to me, their relationship is usually on the back burner. &nbsp;To make this work, you need to commit to a certain time frame and put your relationship first. &nbsp;When you don\u2019t it doesn\u2019t work.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>The relationship is right-<\/strong> &nbsp;I meet a lot of really great people and they have a really great idea. &nbsp;When you\u2019re in a relationship, it\u2019s important to hear and understand your partner&#8217;s point. &nbsp;If you cannot do that, then this relationship will always be tipped in one direction.  Remember the relationship is right.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>You\u2019ve worked through your past-<\/strong> If you\u2019re getting upset with your partner about things that previous partners did, then you haven\u2019t successfully worked through your past yet and you need to do that, or at least acknowledge it.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Emotions are okay-<\/strong> &nbsp;If you\u2019re going to be in a relationship, at some point you\u2019ll need to lean on your partner for something or else that\u2019s not really a partner. &nbsp;Talking about emotions is okay and necessary to work on building trust in your relationship.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>NOPE, NO WAY, THIS DOESN\u2019T WORK<\/strong><br><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Secrets-<\/strong> Nope, these don\u2019t work in a relationship. &nbsp;If you have them, you\u2019re betraying your partner in some way. &nbsp;Keeping things from your partner doesn\u2019t help them.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Getting stuck-<\/strong> &nbsp;If you\u2019re stuck on the same problem week after week, it\u2019s hard to get unstuck. &nbsp;Remember, the relationship is right, not the individual.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Overloaded-<\/strong> Not sure why we do this, but when we get overloaded we tend to take things out on the ones we love. &nbsp;As a couple, you get the added bonus of a partner to help you out.  If you\u2019re overloaded, that\u2019s not going to work.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Addictions\/non-med compliant-<\/strong> It is really hard to love someone and watch them love something more than you and you can\u2019t help it. &nbsp;In order to be in a relationship with anyone else, you need to be okay with who you are first.  If you\u2019re addicted to anything or not taking medications the way you should, it\u2019s time to work on yourself first, relationship second.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s lots of reasons counseling works and equally lots of reasons it doesn\u2019t. &nbsp;I can only help if you want to be helped.  Some people do, I\u2019ve seen it and it\u2019s beautiful. &nbsp;Some people don\u2019t and still stay together. And some people break-up.  What you get from your counseling experience is up to you.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember, I have the skills to help you, but I can\u2019t force you to accept my help.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let me know if I\u2019ve helped or not helped and what you\u2019d like to be different. &nbsp;I\u2019m always open to feedback and can\u2019t wait to hear from you!<br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m a creature of habit and of course I try to mix things up a bit in my life now and again.  One thing I try to be consistent on is my belief that anyone that wants to work on their relationship can and should whether it\u2019s with me or not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":745,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[67,2,97,3],"class_list":["post-716","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples","tag-communication","tag-counseling","tag-couples","tag-therapy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Can I Help You? - Face to Face Therapy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"One thing I try to be consistent on is my belief that anyone that wants to work on their relationship. 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