{"id":702,"date":"2019-05-28T09:35:22","date_gmt":"2019-05-28T13:35:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?p=702"},"modified":"2019-05-27T21:51:13","modified_gmt":"2019-05-28T01:51:13","slug":"friends-kids-relationship-oh-my","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2019\/05\/28\/friends-kids-relationship-oh-my\/","title":{"rendered":"Friends, kids, relationship, oh my!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Who\u2019s excited for summer to be here?  Well I mean the end of the school year, not the scorching heat we already have here in Florida.  I know I am and of course I&#8217;ll tell you why. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For me, summer means looser schedules, later nights and much more happiness all the way around.  We do some camp for the kids, do a family vacation and do some lay low time.  But what about summer that I LOVE the most!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:26px;text-align:center\"><strong>I have more time for everything in my life!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I kinda realized this last summer that when there\u2019s no homework, no sports or scheduled activities, and we have a set easier schedule, I can relax, take it easy and enjoy life more.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What does this have to do with the title anyways?  Well, for the better part of the year I\u2019m super busy being mom, wife, daughter, worker, friend and everything else that there\u2019s always a choice I have to make on which one is more important.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How do we decide who gets our time and how it\u2019s divided equally among all those parts?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I had someone tell me when I went from one girl to two and I was wondering how the heck I&#8217;m going to deal with it all, I was told, \u201cToddlers have wants and babies have needs.\u201d  Ah, that makes sense, deal with the baby first right?  Well, not always.  So I learned to decide who needed my time more and then just tended to that girl at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where\u2019s &#8220;my&#8221; time in all of this.  I\u2019m going at a rate of 1000, doing for others so when do I slow down and do for myself?  Um, some would say that you only do for yourself when you do for others and some would say do for yourself first then others (that might have gotten a laugh out of you).  Seriously, who does for themselves?  So, let&#8217;s break it down into what I would like for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Yourself<\/strong><br>You cannot do for others if you have nothing left to give.  Nurture yourself, watch the show, eat the ice cream, take the day to do nothing.  Up to you what that means just do it enough so you feel as if you are rested and ready to go!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Partner<br><\/strong>The next on the list is your partner because they came before the kids and became more important than your family when you got married (we can debate this one later of course!)  Nurturing your relationship will keep you out of my office!! If you decide to come in, I\u2019m going to help you realize you need to put the effort into yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Good Friends<\/strong><br>I use the word &#8220;good&#8221; here because if you&#8217;re doing something out of obligation say that you are being forced to go to a party, revert back to number 1 or even 2.  Good friends will always be there no matter how much time you spend with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Children<br><\/strong>Gosh, they can really take up all of your time if you are not careful.  Just the worry alone can eat away at your time.  Be a parent, teach, love, nurture when you are able to. Yes, you can hand the kids off to the partner to have a day, yes you can do the same for them.  Children always have needs, needs, needs.  Great thing is that they also have unconditional love so you can mess up and that\u2019s okay, works both ways!!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Family<br><\/strong>I\u2019m talking about in-laws, your parents, siblings, etc.  All of those people in your life before you met your partner and you had those children.  Yes, there are times when you put them first, but not before your own family.  When you committed yourself to your partner, you formed a family and that\u2019s where your priorities are.  Lots of people still put there extended family before their partner and if I can get you to just think about that today, i\u2019m doing something right!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">It is exhausting being all these things to all these people.  <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>I didn\u2019t even talk about all the other obligations we have for ourselves including work.  There\u2019s so much to do all the time and the only way you will get it done is nurture the relationships as you see fit.  Yes, don\u2019t just agree with me.  I\u2019m seeing and telling you what I believe to be true.  I know its hard but one things I do want you to agree on is putting yourself first.  No, it&#8217;s not selfish, it\u2019s &#8220;selfull!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you put yourself first?  Do you have time for others? Would love to hear how you prioritize all of the things in your life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who\u2019s excited for summer to be here? Well I mean the end of the school year, not the scorching heat we already have here in Florida. I know I am and of course I&#8217;ll tell you why. For me, summer means looser schedules, later nights and much more happiness all the way around. We do&#8230;<br \/> <a class=\"read-more magicmore\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2019\/05\/28\/friends-kids-relationship-oh-my\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":703,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[19,22,50,38,101,138],"class_list":["post-702","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","tag-children","tag-family-2","tag-friends","tag-kids","tag-self-care","tag-summer"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Friends, kids, relationship, oh my! - Face to Face Therapy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Who\u2019s excited for summer? 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