{"id":678,"date":"2019-04-21T22:27:03","date_gmt":"2019-04-22T02:27:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?p=678"},"modified":"2019-04-21T22:27:06","modified_gmt":"2019-04-22T02:27:06","slug":"spending-spending-and-more-spending","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2019\/04\/21\/spending-spending-and-more-spending\/","title":{"rendered":"Spending, spending and more spending"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<table class=\"wp-block-table\"><tbody><tr><td>Just looking at this title make you cringe? It does for me for sure! \u00a0Who is a &#8220;spender&#8221;? Who is a saver and who is in the middle? \u00a0Do you know what your relationship with money is? There are people that make a career out of helping people identify their hang ups with money.  <br><br>Do you act the same way your parents did or do you do something different?  <br><br>Every couple that I work with (and I mean everyone one) has something to say about money. \u00a0Which is a good thing because if you are similar with money, that&#8217;s okay.\u00a0 But if you&#8217;re different that\u2019s okay as well! \u00a0The only thing that\u2019s not okay is staying silent about it.Let\u2019s break down the okays and the not okays about money in your relationship.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">NOT OKAY<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<table class=\"wp-block-table\"><tbody><tr><td><strong>Hiding things<\/strong>\u00a0&#8211; \u00a0I hear all sorts of people talk about how they hide purchases from their partner? \u00a0Seriously, if you need to hide it, don\u2019t buy it. Yes, it is a form of<a href=\"http:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/therapy-services\/betrayal-trauma-therapy\/\"> betrayal <\/a>if you are buying things without your partner knowing about it.<br><br><strong>Coping<\/strong>\u00a0&#8211; \u00a0Are you mad at your partner for working too much? \u00a0Do you think if you spend money that will make you happier? \u00a0It might, but let\u2019s make sure we are doing it for the right reasons. \u00a0If you&#8217;re spending money out of spite, sit down and talk about it.<br><br><strong>Separation<\/strong>\u00a0&#8211; Even reading that word is not okay right? \u00a0It is okay to have separate accounts if that&#8217;s what you both want, if it&#8217;s not, then it\u2019s not okay. \u00a0Even if you have separate accounts and you&#8217;re married, they&#8217;re jointly owned. What&#8217;s not okay here is having secrets about your accounts. \u00a0I didn\u2019t say surprises. You can surprise your partner with a gift, but having a secret account that they don\u2019t know about isn\u2019t okay.<br><br><strong>Silence is so not golden here\u00a0<\/strong>&#8211; \u00a0If you can\u2019t talk about it, then you shouldn\u2019t be doing it! \u00a0Even with separate accounts, you need to have a money talk at least 1x a month. \u00a0Yes, you two need to sit down and talk about money.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">HOORARY, IT\u2019S OKAY<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<table class=\"wp-block-table\"><tbody><tr><td><strong>Spending more than you make <\/strong>&#8211; I put this here because it\u2019s a fact of life. \u00a0Life is expensive and if you&#8217;re spending more than you make, it\u2019s okay as long as it is temporary, you have a plan to change it and you&#8217;re talking about it.<br><br><strong>Staying at home is a job!\u00a0<\/strong>&#8211; If you are a worker and you quit your job to take care of your children and you think that isn\u2019t a job, stop right NOW. \u00a0It&#8217;s so a job and each year they come up with a stay at home salary. In 2018 the salary was $162,000 and in 2019 its $160,000. \u00a0You get my point.\u00a0 You&#8217;re working and stop feeling like you aren\u2019t. It\u2019s okay to stay-at-home and it\u2019s okay to spend money like you are working, yes it\u2019s okay.<br><br><strong>Messing up &#8211;<\/strong>\u00a0If you mess up, spend without talking about it, feel bad about spending, etc, call for a chat and talk about it. \u00a0It can only be resolved if you two talk, so talk.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Get the point?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<table class=\"wp-block-table\"><tbody><tr><td>Mostly in the NOT OKAY category there are things where you hide stuff, in the OKAY category it\u2019s mostly stuff that you talk about. \u00a0Just talk about money please. I know it\u2019s hard, I know its emotional but I promise the more you do it, the easier it will be!!! So just do it!!<br><br>Let me know how you communicate about money!!<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Just looking at this title make you cringe? It does for me for sure! \u00a0Who is a &#8220;spender&#8221;? Who is a saver and who is in the middle? \u00a0Do you know what your relationship with money is? There are people that make a career out of helping people identify their hang ups with money. Do&#8230;<br \/> <a class=\"read-more magicmore\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2019\/04\/21\/spending-spending-and-more-spending\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":679,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,7],"tags":[67,135,136,51],"class_list":["post-678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples","category-lifestyle","tag-communication","tag-finances","tag-money","tag-talking"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Spending, spending and more spending - Face to Face Therapy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2019\/04\/21\/spending-spending-and-more-spending\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Spending, spending and more spending - Face to Face Therapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Just looking at this title make you cringe? It does for me for sure! \u00a0Who is a &#8220;spender&#8221;? Who is a saver and who is in the middle? \u00a0Do you know what your relationship with money is? There are people that make a career out of helping people identify their hang ups with money. Do... 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