{"id":594,"date":"2019-01-03T09:01:43","date_gmt":"2019-01-03T14:01:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?p=594"},"modified":"2018-12-21T22:21:58","modified_gmt":"2018-12-22T03:21:58","slug":"wants-needs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2019\/01\/03\/wants-needs\/","title":{"rendered":"Wants and Needs"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been asked (or maybe I\u2019m just talking about it this week) on the difference between needs<\/strong> and wants<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

When I was a new mom and I was wondering how the heck I would take care of 2 kids (a baby and a toddler) at the same time while I was breastfeeding one and the other has never left my side, arggghhh!!\u00a0 I was given the best advice:<\/p>\n

Babies have needs, toddlers have wants, decide who needs you more!!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wow, that was so powerful, quotable and helpful because when you\u2019re sleep deprived and not knowing what you\u2019re doing, how do you do it all? Um, you take turns, take a breathe and figure it out.<\/p>\n

So, I was thinking about this again with my clients this week. I had some great conversations about it and how we can think about what we need<\/strong> in our relationships compared to what we want<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

What I believe my needs are<\/h2>\n

Trust<\/h3>\n

So important to me to be able to trust my partner. This takes on a different meaning for me because I can trust him not to cheat<\/a> on me, but I can\u2019t always trust that he will do what he says. I need someone that will do what they say and say what they will do.<\/p>\n

Emotions<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m a therapist and anyone that\u2019s with me needs to know that talking about emotions is important to me. I need to work through things, get rid of the upset feelings and get to the true emotions behind what we\u2019re talking about. Guess I can call them triggers as well.<\/p>\n

Co-Parenting<\/a><\/h3>\n

Yes, there can only be one parent that is working at a time, but there are two parents that need to be parenting <\/a>all the time. Even though I work, and so does he, I need to feel as if our children are both of our responsibilities all the time. Work in progress here.<\/p>\n

Talking<\/h3>\n

This is huge for me and I need this so much. I need to talk things out<\/a> and work out what needs to be worked out. The silence is a killer for me. Huge need is to talk.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s switch to some of my wants<\/h2>\n

Plans<\/h3>\n

I\u2019m a planner and I like to have plans made. Something about having plans<\/a> made is soothing to me and lets me get excited about things and helps me stay calm. My partner is a \u201cspur of the moment\u201d kinda guy so this is always a work in progress.<\/p>\n

Vacations<\/a><\/h3>\n

I\u2019m putting this in the wants section because it\u2019s not a need. I do enjoy going away, seeing new things and of course planning it all!<\/p>\n

Healthy Lifestyle<\/h3>\n

This is a need for me and I do this personally to stay sane, but it\u2019s a want in my life because I can\u2019t make anyone do anything solely for me. Maybe it\u2019s a want\/need!<\/p>\n

In Summary<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m going to stop there because I can add a lot more wants but in reality, I\u2019m okay with getting my needs met. My needs are my core and when I get my needs met, I\u2019m happy and content with my relationship.<\/p>\n

How about you? Do you know your wants<\/strong> and needs<\/strong>?\u00a0 Do you need help distinguishing them Let\u2019s hear from you and how you distinguish the two.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been asked (or maybe I\u2019m just talking about it this week) on the difference between needs and wants. When I was a new mom and I was wondering how the heck I would take care of 2 kids (a baby and a toddler) at the same time while I was breastfeeding one and the…
Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":597,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[67,97,73,128,10,35,51,129],"class_list":["post-594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples","tag-communication","tag-couples","tag-listening","tag-needs","tag-parenting","tag-relationships","tag-talking","tag-wants"],"yoast_head":"\nWants and Needs - Face to Face Therapy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019ve been asked (or maybe I\u2019m just talking about it this week) on the difference between needs and wants.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2019\/01\/03\/wants-needs\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Wants and Needs - 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