{"id":361,"date":"2017-12-26T09:25:24","date_gmt":"2017-12-26T14:25:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?p=361"},"modified":"2019-04-16T13:20:00","modified_gmt":"2019-04-16T17:20:00","slug":"how-advanced-listener","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be an Advanced Listener"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I figured I would give you a little time to read my last post \u201c<a href=\"\/blog\/2017\/12\/01\/how-to-be-a-great-listener\/\">How to be a Great Listener<\/a>\u201d before I wrote this as a follow-up. Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don&#8217;t do it.<\/p>\n<p>Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener? If so, here it is.<\/p>\n<h3>Read Between the Lines<\/h3>\n<p>To be an even better listener, you need to read between the lines of what your partner is saying. You need to focus on HOW your partner is saying things, not just what they&#8217;re saying. You need to convey understanding. Examples are here to help:<\/p>\n<p>Your partner says, \u201cThis apartment is my prison.\u201d You say, &#8220;Wow, it sounds as if you are really trapped. Is that right? Am I getting it right?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Your partner says. \u201cI feel like the train has left and I\u2019m still standing at the station.\u201d You say, &#8220;So you feel as if the world is passing you by and your own life is at a standstill?&#8221;<\/p>\n<h3>Have Regular <a href=\"\/blog\/2017\/11\/09\/how-much-should-you-work-on-your-relationship-for-it-to-work\/\">Stress Reducing Conversations<\/a><\/h3>\n<p>Find out who or what is stressing your partner.&nbsp; Know who the main people are in your partner\u2019s life. Learn their names.&nbsp; Find out what is working in your partner\u2019s life.&nbsp; Basically sit down with no distractions and talk\/listen to each other at least 1x a week.<\/p>\n<h3>Just Be There and Listen<\/h3>\n<p>Yep, it is really that easy. Put down the phone, iPad, TV remote and have a conversation. Listen with empathy and understanding. Only give advice if your partner asks you to.&nbsp; Do not solve the problem or internalize it, you&#8217;re doing the work by listening and that&#8217;s enough to feel loved, supported and most importantly, an advanced listener!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Listening is a skill we have to learn along with all other skills<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Try incorporating listening into your daily routine and see how your partner responds to you. Enjoy your new found connection through listening!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I figured I would give you a little time to read my last post \u201cHow to be a Great Listener\u201d before I wrote this as a follow-up. Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don&#8217;t do it. Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener?&#8230;<br \/> <a class=\"read-more magicmore\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":674,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,111],"tags":[67,73,35,86,51],"class_list":["post-361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples","category-gottman-method","tag-communication","tag-listening","tag-relationships","tag-routines","tag-talking"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Be an Advanced Listener - Face to Face Therapy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don&#039;t do it. Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener? If so, here it is.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Be an Advanced Listener - Face to Face Therapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don&#039;t do it. Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener? If so, here it is.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Face to Face Therapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-12-26T14:25:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-04-16T17:20:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener-1024x683.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"683\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Dr. Lagrotte\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Dr. Lagrotte\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Dr. Lagrotte\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b\"},\"headline\":\"How to Be an Advanced Listener\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-12-26T14:25:24+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-04-16T17:20:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/\"},\"wordCount\":342,\"commentCount\":1,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"communication\",\"listening\",\"relationships\",\"routines\",\"talking\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Couples\",\"Gottman Method\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/\",\"name\":\"How to Be an Advanced Listener - Face to Face Therapy\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-12-26T14:25:24+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-04-16T17:20:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b\"},\"description\":\"Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don't do it. Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener? If so, here it is.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener.jpg\",\"width\":5472,\"height\":3648},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to Be an Advanced Listener\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Face to Face Therapy\",\"description\":\"Blog of Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b\",\"name\":\"Dr. Lagrotte\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/68533ebf9d484533e5b44fce381d3f733dc0d35a5acdf344f1b17074ef721f07?s=96&r=pg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/68533ebf9d484533e5b44fce381d3f733dc0d35a5acdf344f1b17074ef721f07?s=96&r=pg\",\"caption\":\"Dr. Lagrotte\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/author\/jenniferfacetofacetherapy-com\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Be an Advanced Listener - Face to Face Therapy","description":"Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don't do it. Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener? If so, here it is.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Be an Advanced Listener - Face to Face Therapy","og_description":"Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don't do it. Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener? If so, here it is.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/","og_site_name":"Face to Face Therapy","article_published_time":"2017-12-26T14:25:24+00:00","article_modified_time":"2019-04-16T17:20:00+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1024,"height":683,"url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener-1024x683.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Dr. Lagrotte","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Dr. Lagrotte","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/"},"author":{"name":"Dr. Lagrotte","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b"},"headline":"How to Be an Advanced Listener","datePublished":"2017-12-26T14:25:24+00:00","dateModified":"2019-04-16T17:20:00+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/"},"wordCount":342,"commentCount":1,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener.jpg","keywords":["communication","listening","relationships","routines","talking"],"articleSection":["Couples","Gottman Method"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/","url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/","name":"How to Be an Advanced Listener - Face to Face Therapy","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener.jpg","datePublished":"2017-12-26T14:25:24+00:00","dateModified":"2019-04-16T17:20:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b"},"description":"Listening is so important in how you relate to your partner and so many people don't do it. Are you listening on how to be an advanced listener? If so, here it is.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Blog-Adv-Listener.jpg","width":5472,"height":3648},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/2017\/12\/26\/how-advanced-listener\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Be an Advanced Listener"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/","name":"Face to Face Therapy","description":"Blog of Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5c730d1d4e86d579b9f86b98732f857b","name":"Dr. Lagrotte","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/68533ebf9d484533e5b44fce381d3f733dc0d35a5acdf344f1b17074ef721f07?s=96&r=pg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/68533ebf9d484533e5b44fce381d3f733dc0d35a5acdf344f1b17074ef721f07?s=96&r=pg","caption":"Dr. Lagrotte"},"url":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/author\/jenniferfacetofacetherapy-com\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=361"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":676,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361\/revisions\/676"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/674"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.facetofacetherapy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}